Child-Free Sibling Asks Family Not to Bring Their Kids to Birthday Dinner, but Worries About Backlash

One Reddit user is drawing attention after explaining why they don’t want kids attending their upcoming birthday dinner.

Posting in Reddit’s “Would I Be the A——” forum, the user shared that their family has a long-standing tradition of going out to dinner for every birthday. With around eight adults in the family, these dinners happen roughly every month or two.

However, as siblings and cousins have had children — now ranging from infants to 8 years old — the gatherings have become louder and less relaxing. The Redditor, who is the only one in the family without kids, said they plan to stay child-free.

“I have always treasured these birthday dinners as a great way to see everyone, catch up, and reconnect,” they wrote. “Since more children have joined the family, the dynamic has changed drastically. What used to be reminiscing and laughing together has turned into constant interruption — chasing kids around the restaurant, dealing with outbursts, or watching them glued to their iPads while everyone talks about parenting.”

They added that while they respect their relatives’ lifestyles, they find it isolating when “kid talk” dominates every conversation. “It feels like no one can sit, relax, and enjoy the evening without needing to tend to the kids every five seconds,” they said.

With their birthday coming up, the Redditor started thinking ahead. They shared that large family dinners now feel overstimulating and that they’re more comfortable in smaller groups. Their idea: a child-free birthday dinner, just once a year.

“It sounded so much nicer to have full-length adult conversations and truly reconnect,” they explained. “I also thought it would be a nice break for the parents — a chance to spend time with family without constantly worrying about their children.”

They clarified that they don’t dislike kids. “I like them,” they said. “I just find it hard to connect with adults when children are around.”

Since posting, hundreds of Reddit users have chimed in to offer their perspectives.

One commenter suggested being upfront: “Explain to your family what you want for your birthday and give plenty of notice so they can plan childcare or decline if needed. You’re within your rights to say no kids — and they’re within theirs to say thank you but no thank you.”

Another user shared their family’s solution: “We started doing birthday dinners at home instead of restaurants once kids came along. It’s more relaxing, kids can play safely, and takeout is easy. Maybe suggest an at-home party if someone has the space and willingness to host.”