College Freshman Heartbroken When Stepmom Tells Her She Can’t Come Home for the Holidays: ‘Figure It Out’

A 19-year-old college student turned to Reddit for advice after discovering she may not have a place to stay when school closes for holidays and summer break.

She explained that she earned a scholarship to her dream college, which required a flight to get home. When her younger sister asked to take over her room before she left, it seemed reasonable. She packed up her belongings into storage totes, assuming she would unpack them during breaks.

Her parents divorced when she was 6, resulting in a complicated family dynamic. Her dad and stepmom have two young children together, while her mom’s husband works overseas. Recently, her mom joined him abroad full-time, meaning there was no longer a permanent home base in her hometown. Despite some tension with her mother, she said she loves both parents, though she turns to her dad most often for support.

With Thanksgiving approaching, she called her dad to arrange travel. Instead, he suggested she didn’t need to worry about visiting, saying they likely wouldn’t be doing much and she enjoyed school. She emphasized that she missed her family and would appreciate even a low-key holiday. He agreed to look into flights.

Soon after, her stepmom called with a message she didn’t expect. While kind in tone, her stepmom said that she was an adult now and needed to handle things on her own. The student was stunned — she had assumed she could always come home on breaks, at least until she graduated. She explained she was only 19 and still in school, but her stepmom insisted the household now needed to focus on the younger children.

Making things worse, her old room had been turned into a home gym. The guest room was unavailable due to another relative staying over the holiday. The student suddenly realized she had nowhere to go when dorms closed.

Panicked, she pointed out that college breaks were unavoidable. Her stepmom reiterated that she was no longer part of the “nuclear” family and couldn’t expect a room. The young woman broke down, saying she never realized going to college meant losing her home base.

Seeking help, she called her grandmother, who immediately offered her a place to stay over the summer. Instead of relief, she felt guilty — like an unwanted burden. She shared that she wasn’t ready to be “completely on [her] own” at just 19.

Afterward, tension worsened. Her dad was upset she involved his mother, and her stepmom accused her of entitlement. The situation left her wondering if she should apologize, despite feeling discarded by her parents.

Reddit commenters strongly supported her side, assuring her she had done nothing wrong. One person advised:

“NTA. I’d go low contact. A few years from now when your dad wonders why he rarely sees you, remind him that the last time you tried to come home, you were told you weren’t part of the ‘nuclear family’ and there was no room for you anymore.”