Dad Refuses to Finance Daughter’s Decision to Attend Grad School, Claiming She’s Using It to ‘Delay Entering Adulthood’

A father turned to Reddit for advice after making a tough choice about his daughter’s graduate school plans.

The 46-year-old dad said he’s “very proud of her and all she’s done so far,” but he’s worried about her decision to start grad school right now.

In his post, he explained that his 23-year-old daughter isn’t fully sure what she wants to do with her degree, and he’s concerned she’s using grad school “to avoid starting adult life.”

Her mother currently pays most of her expenses, but when the daughter asked if he would help with costs, he told her, “I wasn’t planning to give anything.”

When she first mentioned grad school, he didn’t say no right away but made it clear he wouldn’t help pay unless she had a clear career plan. She works part-time, but her pay isn’t enough to cover tuition and living expenses. She lives between her parents’ homes and doesn’t pay rent, but he feels that can’t go on forever.

Trying to be practical, he suggested she take online classes while continuing to work to “save money and avoid extra costs.” She rejected the idea and decided to move out, rent an apartment, and attend school while working part-time — without much input from him. When he shared his concerns, she accused him of “being negative.”

Now, he’s sticking to his answer: “I said no.” He says he supports her as a person but not this decision. He and his ex-wife both earned their grad degrees later in life, after becoming young parents, so her timing feels premature to him.

He asked Reddit, “Am I the bad guy for refusing to pay for her grad school when I don’t agree with how she’s approaching it?”

Many commenters said he’s not wrong, reminding him, “Your money, your choice.” Others encouraged him to be careful not to damage their relationship and to keep showing her love and support, even if he won’t pay.

Some suggested a simple approach: say, “I’ve budgeted for other responsibilities,” and stay involved in her life by checking in and spending time together.

The dad says he’s hopeful their bond will remain strong. As he puts it, he “supports her as a person,” even if he’s not sure about her path.