Dad Spends More Time with His Nephews Than His Daughters. Now, His Wife Says Their Girls Feel Like They’re ‘Missing Out’

A woman turned to the AITA subreddit for perspective after asking her husband to spend more individual time with their two daughters.

The original poster (OP) explained that she and her husband share two girls, ages 6 and 8. They also live near his sister, whose two sons — both around 9 — frequently visit, especially when her husband is home from his military service.

According to OP, the boys are polite and energetic, and her husband enjoys taking them to the park to play soccer. They usually have a great time, and her sister-in-law expresses gratitude.

When the boys aren’t around, OP’s husband also plays soccer at the park with their daughters, and OP often joins them. The girls love those outings. But they’ve told their mother they don’t enjoy joining when the cousins are there — the boys become overly competitive, and the fun disappears.

Because her husband’s time at home is limited, he tends to invite the nephews on those few available days. OP suggested he talk to his sister about setting boundaries so their daughters wouldn’t feel left out.

Her husband was surprised by the request. He stressed that the boys have a parent away for long periods, and he believed they enjoyed and benefited from the time together. OP clarified that the issue wasn’t the boys — it was how their daughters felt overshadowed and excluded when activities revolved around the nephews.

He responded that they should keep encouraging the girls to join and promised to reduce the competitiveness. But OP explained they had tried that approach before, and it didn’t change the outcome. He pushed back, saying it would be cruel to tell the boys directly, leaving OP feeling like he thought she was being unfair.

Later, OP updated her post after the situation repeated itself. Their older daughter — excited for park plans earlier in the day — decided not to go once she learned the cousins were included. When her father gently asked why she wasn’t interested, she shyly admitted it was because of the nephews’ behavior.

That admission seemed to hit him differently. Without having messaged his sister yet, he told the girls that the boys wouldn’t be joining — at least this time — and asked if they still wanted to go. They did, and the family headed to the park, where the daughters happily enjoyed their time with him. OP added that he might still take the boys later, but that conversation with his daughter clearly had an impact.

Many commenters responded that OP was right to speak up. Several pointed out that if his daughters are noticing and feeling sidelined, the issue is already serious. One commenter wrote that he needs to either create activities everyone enjoys equally or ensure the boys don’t dominate play.

Another user suggested there could also be a subtle gender bias at play — that perhaps the father unconsciously prefers sports activities with boys, even though girls can share those same interests.

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