Eric Dane Has ’24/7 Nurses’ amid ALS Diagnosis, Ex Rebecca Gayheart Covers Shifts When Needed 

Rebecca Gayheart says she had to push back hard against insurance companies to secure round-the-clock care for her ex-husband, Eric Dane, as he continues living with ALS.

In a deeply personal essay for The Cut, the Jawbreaker actress, 54, wrote that “Eric has 24/7 nurses now.” Gayheart, who separated from the Grey’s Anatomy alum in 2018, described stepping in to manage much of his medical care—and how complicated the process became.

Dane told PEOPLE in April that he had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, a progressive condition that affects nerve cells and can eventually lead to muscle paralysis, per the Mayo Clinic. While some medications can slow the disease’s progression, there is no cure, and people with ALS may gradually lose the ability to speak, eat, walk, and breathe independently because the condition damages motor neurons in the brain and spinal cord.

Gayheart wrote that navigating the health-care system is challenging on its own—and that insurance denials can be relentless. “Just figuring out the health-care system is its own thing — the health-insurance company will deny you what you’re asking for and you have to appeal and then you have to apply again,” she explained.

When she tried to get in-home nursing care, she said she was met with blunt resistance. According to Gayheart, “the woman from his insurance said to me, ‘You can keep applying, and I’ll keep denying,’” prompting her to dig in. “I was like, ‘Oh? F that.’ I made it my mission. I was ‘locked in,’ as the kids would say. I crashed out, and then I locked it in.”

Gayheart—who has previously described her relationship with Dane as “super complicated”—said she didn’t stop until she got results. “We got it approved after two appeals,” she wrote.

The actress shares two daughters with the Euphoria actor—Billie, 15, and Georgia, 13—and said the demands of caregiving can be difficult to balance with parenting. She explained that his care is split into 21 shifts, and when coverage falls through, she fills in herself. “There are times that shifts aren’t covered, so I cover them,” she said. “There was a 12-hour shift recently that I could not cover. I could only do four hours because of all the stuff that the kids are doing.”

That situation forced her to ask for help from Dane’s friends, including someone who hadn’t cared for him in that way before. “I had to call on two of Eric’s friends, one of them who had never really taken care of him in that way. I thought, ‘I can’t believe I had to ask someone to do this,’” she wrote. But the response surprised her in the best way. “And of course when I asked for help, they said, ‘Yeah, anything, what do you need? What’s going on?’ And they both showed up and did a wonderful job.”

Still, Gayheart acknowledged that not everyone has been able—or willing—to be present. “There are a lot of people who used to be more present in my life who I think about and wonder, ‘Where’d they go?’” she wrote, adding that she’s discussed it often in therapy and came to recognize that many people struggle with situations this heavy.

“It’s not easy for people,” Gayheart said. “So I don’t hold any grudges toward [anyone] who hasn’t shown up.”