Erik Menendez was denied parole on Thursday by a panel of California commissioners.
During the hearing, Menendez gave his most detailed account in years of his upbringing, the choices he made leading up to his parents’ murders, and the decades he has spent in prison.
He and his brother, Lyle, were sentenced to life in prison in 1996 for the 1989 killings of their parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez, inside their Beverly Hills mansion.
The California Department of Corrections selected one reporter to observe the videoconference and relay details to the rest of the media.
His upbringing
“I was not raised with a moral foundation,” Menendez said.
“I was raised to lie, to cheat, to steal — steal in the sense of an abstract way. When I was playing tennis, my father would make sure that I cheated at certain times if he told me to. The idea that there is a right and wrong that I do not cross because it’s a moral bound was not instilled in me as a teenager.”
Relationship with his father
For years, Menendez has maintained that he was sexually abused by his father. He told commissioners: “I fantasized about my father not being alive.”
Prosecutors asked why, at 18, he chose to kill his father instead of leaving home. Menendez replied: “In my mind, leaving meant death. There was no consideration. I was totally convinced there was no place I could go.”
He added, “It’s difficult to convey how terrifying my father was.”
The murders
When asked why he also killed his mother, Menendez said he felt equally betrayed after learning she knew of the abuse.
“It was the most devastating moment in my entire life. It changed everything for me. I had been protecting her by not telling her,” he said.
Reflecting on the night of the murders, Menendez said: “I wish to God I did not do that.”
Breaking prison rules
Commissioners questioned him about numerous rule violations in prison, including alcohol use, gang affiliation, and possessing a cellphone.
Explaining his decision to keep a phone, Menendez said: “What I got in terms of the phone and my connection with the outside world was far greater than the consequences of me getting caught with the phone.”
On substance abuse, he admitted: “If I could numb my sadness with alcohol, I was going to do it … I would have taken other drugs to numb that pain … I was looking to ease that sadness within me.”
Turning his life around
Menendez said he became sober in 2013 and turned to faith: “From 2013 on I was living for a different purpose. My purpose in life was to be a good person … I asked myself, ‘Who do I want to be when I die?’ I believe I’m going to face a different parole board when I die.”
Why parole was denied
The commissioners concluded Menendez was unsuitable for release, citing his history of prison violations as evidence that he remains a risk to public safety.
“One can pose a risk to public safety in many ways, with several types of criminal behavior, including the ones you were guilty of in prison,” Commissioner Robert Barton said.
Menendez will be eligible to appear before the board again in three years. Barton urged him to focus on change:
“You have two options,” he said. “One is to have a pity party … and then you become a self-fulfilling prophecy, probably not getting granted next time. Or you can take to heart what we discussed.”
