Father of 3 Conflicted After His Late Friend’s Daughter Asked for Help Paying for College: ‘She’s a Stranger to Me’

A man recently sought advice online after a touching but uncomfortable exchange with the teenage daughter of a late friend who reached out asking for help paying for college.

He explained that his late friend had been “a good guy” and a former classmate, though they were not especially close. “I helped him out and once did a case for him completely free since I’m a lawyer,” he wrote, noting that the case lasted about two years but ended successfully.

At the time, his friend “wasn’t the most financially stable guy,” which is why he had refused payment. Seven years after his friend’s death, the man was surprised to receive a Facebook message from the friend’s now 17-year-old daughter.

“I didn’t know who she was,” he recalled. “She introduced herself and said she was my old friend’s daughter.” She thanked him for helping her late father, saying she had never forgotten his kindness.

At first, their chat seemed harmless. “I told her it was fine and there was no need to thank me,” he said. But he soon found it odd that she “kept asking about life and stuff.” Eventually, she revealed her true reason for reaching out: she wanted help with college expenses because her mother couldn’t afford them.

The man declined. “I told her I was sorry but I can’t do that as I’m currently putting three of my kids through college right now — two of them being in medical school,” he said. “I can’t afford yet another one, and honestly she’s a stranger to me. I’m not a charity.”

The teen appeared to take the rejection calmly. “She said she understood and thanked me again for helping her dad. She never messaged me again,” he wrote. Still, the encounter stayed on his mind.

When he told his wife, she felt he had been too harsh. “She said I went too hard on the poor girl, that she was probably scared and stressed, and told me I should apologize,” he explained. That left him questioning whether he owed the girl an apology.

Reddit commenters mostly supported his stance, saying her request was inappropriate. One person wrote, “It wasn’t mean to tell her that she’s basically a stranger. It was a highly inappropriate ask, and she should learn why so she doesn’t do it again.”

Another agreed, calling the teen’s approach “absurd behavior.” They added, “If she feels foolish or hurt as a result, so be it. She’ll live. NTA.”

Others echoed that he wasn’t obligated to offer financial help. “Who cares if you’re paying for three or one or even none,” one commenter said. “You have zero obligation to pay for her college. She never should have asked and put you in an awkward position.”