Frustrated New Mom ‘Waiting Out’ Maternity Leave to Break Up Her Partner So She Can Postpone Return to Work

A new mother shared on Reddit that she’s intentionally waiting until her maternity leave ends before breaking up with her partner — not because she wants to stay with him, but because she doesn’t want to return to work early and be forced to leave her baby.

She explained that she and her partner share a 4-month-old child, but says he has become “the absolute biggest disappointment.”

Although they both work, the couple lives in a home he purchased before they met. She currently pays rent to cover utilities, while he alone pays the mortgage, frequently reminding her that it’s “his house.” He also insists she contribute to the mortgage, despite her belief that he would have the same expense whether she lived there or not.

Even when she was working full-time, she says he expected her to take care of all household chores — so she hired a cleaner to ease the burden.

Her partner has ongoing mental health struggles, including anxiety and what she suspects may be “signs of bipolar,” which affects his sleep and daily functioning.

Now on maternity leave, she still has two months of paid time off left, followed by six unpaid months. Her partner expects her to continue paying rent from her savings during that entire period, despite offering no help toward her maternity fund. She has refused, arguing that she’s at home caring for their child.

But her biggest frustration is that he refuses to watch their newborn alone. She only asks for three hours once a week but says he claims he’s too exhausted due to anxiety. They sleep in separate rooms — she stays with the baby while he sleeps alone.

He accuses her of being unsympathetic and insists their daughter requires constant supervision from her mother. When he does briefly take the baby, she says he avoids basic care like changing diapers unless reminded. He has never bathed their child and often becomes absorbed in his phone while the baby fusses for attention.

She added that his moods fluctuate and he sometimes ignores the baby entirely. Though he’s not physically abusive, he often raises his voice within earshot of the child. She feels he assumes she will always be the default parent — even when he’s doing something as simple as eating snacks.

While she is certain the relationship can’t continue, financial reality complicates her decision. With six unpaid months ahead, she cannot afford to leave yet and wants to keep her baby close for as long as possible.

Commenters on Reddit expressed empathy but strongly encouraged her to leave sooner rather than later. One person pointed out that the environment may already be harming both mother and child. Another noted that infants are sensitive to emotional tension, and prolonged exposure to conflict can influence development and stress responses.

---