Grandma Says Her Daughter Only Comes Around When She Needs Her to Watch Grandchild. Now She’s Charging Her to Babysit

A grandmother says she’s reached a breaking point after months of watching her granddaughter for free — and she’s now questioning whether she’s wrong for wanting boundaries.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the woman explained that her daughter married about a year after finishing high school, became a stay-at-home wife and soon got pregnant. During the pregnancy, the daughter spent a lot of time at her mom’s house — and once the baby arrived, the visits continued.

But over time, the grandmother says those visits began to feel less like family time and more like childcare.

She wrote that her daughter started leaving the baby with her for longer stretches, and would get upset whenever the grandmother said she couldn’t babysit for the day. Then the requests turned into weekend babysitting so the daughter and her husband could go out.

The grandmother agreed for three weekends in a row — until she and her husband had their own plans. When she told her daughter she couldn’t babysit that weekend, she says her daughter took offense.

The grandmother admitted she initially felt guilty, so she and her husband started babysitting on weekends anyway. But the arrangement has worn them down.

She said she and her husband are in a new stage of life and never imagined spending it caring for small children again. While they love their granddaughter, she explained they even canceled a vacation to cover childcare — and they don’t want to feel like they’re raising another child.

And as the baby has gotten older, the job has become even tougher.

The grandmother said she can’t keep up with a crawling baby and doesn’t have the energy to run around the way she needs to. When she brought up how exhausting it has become, her daughter brushed it off, saying it’s “only two days a week.”

Trying to make a point, the grandmother replied that if it’s “only two days,” then her daughter should pay them — the same way she pays a babysitter.

That conversation escalated quickly.

The grandmother told her daughter she feels like she’s only contacted when something is needed — and that she feels “used” as free childcare. She said her daughter was “totally offended,” and accused her of being cruel for wanting to charge to watch her own granddaughter.

Now the grandmother is left wondering who’s in the wrong.

In the comments, many readers sided with the grandmother and said she wasn’t being unreasonable for setting limits.

One commenter wrote that grandparents watching a child occasionally for free can be a generous kindness — but expecting regular weekend childcare without any consideration, help or compensation is a different situation entirely. They added that the grandmother and her husband have lives too, and shouldn’t be treated like unpaid labor.

Another person echoed that sentiment, saying it’s fine to offer babysitting sometimes as a loving gesture — but it should never be demanded or treated like an obligation.

A third commenter encouraged the grandmother to be firm, saying she should tell her daughter she loves spending time with the baby, but can’t be relied on for childcare going forward.