Grandmother Furious Pregnant Woman Won’t Let Her in the Delivery Room When She Gives Birth

A 28-year-old expectant mother turned to Reddit for advice after a disagreement with her family about her birth plan. As she prepares for her first baby, she admitted she’s struggling with the decision of who—if anyone—should be present during delivery.

Although she described herself as “a VERY open person in general,” she shared that after witnessing her brother’s and niece’s births, she’s uncomfortable with the idea of having an audience during such a vulnerable experience.

Her uncertainty came to a head when her grandmother, a retired OB nurse, questioned her choice. The mom-to-be recalled, “She asked me had I considered who I wanted there when I gave birth. I said I wasn’t sure that I wanted anyone there, and she got very upset and said, ‘I THINK YOU’RE FORGETTING SOMEONE.’ ”

Her grandmother reminded her that she was “the first person to hold” her when she was born and insisted she would need someone to coach her through labor.

The conversation left the expectant mother uneasy. She later asked her own mother to help mediate and explain her wishes to her grandmother.

Her mother expressed that while she personally felt someone should be there, it was ultimately her daughter’s decision. “She said while she thought I should have someone there, ultimately it is my choice and people need to respect it,” the woman wrote.

Still, that didn’t resolve the emotional tension. The woman admitted that her relationship with her mom has been strained for years. “I would love to have my mom there, but I will never have the mom I actually need to be there for me,” she shared.

She also expressed doubts about allowing her boyfriend in the room, saying that his impatience might make her more anxious.

Though she briefly considered hiring a doula, she dismissed the idea, citing cost and discomfort with a stranger’s presence. “And I don’t really want a random person seeing me push my baby out either,” she wrote.

With eight years of healthcare experience, she trusts the hospital nurses but acknowledged they won’t be able to stay by her side constantly.

Feeling torn between maintaining peace and protecting her boundaries, she asked the Reddit community whether she was wrong to want solitude during birth.

One commenter reassured her: “Giving birth will likely be one of the most physically difficult AND emotionally charged days of your life. You do whatever you need to do to feel as safe and comfortable as possible.”

They added that while a father’s wish to be present is understandable, “a grandparent is a lot lower on the list of people with a claim to a spot in the room,” noting that a “former medical professional with a strong personality” might even complicate the situation.

Another user suggested having an advocate on standby: “It’s a good idea to have someone there to advocate for you just in case you become incapacitated, be it a midwife or doula or even a nanny you are planning to use once the baby comes. Sometimes hospitals work with midwives or doulas, so she can always ask her OB about anyone the hospital works with.”