Grieving Mother Gets Unexpected Response from Trader Joe’s Cashier 1 Year After 7-Year-Old Son’s Death

In September 2024, Brittany Defer’s world changed forever when her 7-year-old son, Bodhi, experienced a sudden febrile seizure — a convulsion caused by high fever — while taking a bath.

After three days in the hospital, doctors told the family that Bodhi was brain dead.

“We had to make the impossible decision to withdraw care,” Defer says. “It was, and always will be, the most heart-wrenching experience of my life.”

Bodhi was known for his bright spirit, quick wit and playful personality. He excelled at school, loved kickball and had a surprising passion for flowers.

“He showed me what unconditional love was and still continues to be my bright light,” Defer shares.

Following his death, flowers became a way for the grieving mother to stay connected to the son she adored. A few times a week, after dropping off her older children — William, 14, and Juniper, 12 — she heads to Trader Joe’s, selects a bouquet and brings it to Bodhi’s resting place.

“His resting place is beautiful, and it is a way to connect and be close with him,” she says. “I feel the most at peace when I am there.”

Last Halloween, before trick-or-treating, the family planned a special stop at Bodhi’s grave. Standing in line at Trader Joe’s, flowers in hand, Defer called her husband — and the grief hit her all over again. Tears came. He cried, too.

When she reached the cashier, she was still visibly upset. He had overheard the phone call — and instead of turning away, he leaned in with empathy.

“He said, ‘You need to let it out — don’t hold it in,’” Defer recalls. “He then asked me to go pick out a bouquet for myself.”

Bodhi’s favorite colors were red and black, so she chose red roses through her tears. When she told the cashier, he looked up with compassion.

“He said, ‘You have eyes above watching you,’” she remembers. He gently reminded her she would see her son again someday — and insisted she keep the roses.

Defer asked if she could give him a hug.

“I needed to hear what he said. I also needed that hug,” she says. “He held space for me and my grief in the middle of his workday, and his compassion really carried me through that tough moment.”

What began as a simple errand became a shared moment of humanity — a reminder that kindness can be life-saving in the smallest ways.

“You never really know what someone’s carrying,” Defer says. “Taking a moment to be kind can change someone’s entire day.”

She adds, “The kind of grief I feel is something you can’t understand until you’ve lived it. That’s why kindness hits so deep now, even from a stranger. Sometimes it’s exactly what you need to keep going.”