A groom removed his best man from his wedding party after the friend insisted on bringing a plus-one.
Posting on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum, the 35-year-old groom explained that his lifelong friend, also 35, accepted the role of best man but then requested to bring a guest—even though he was single and already knew most of the attendees as a “close family friend for our entire lives.”
The groom and his fiancée, 30, had not originally planned to allow a plus-one for the single friend. They noted that he already knew many guests, but since the final guest list wasn’t complete, they told him they would consider it and asked him to wait until the numbers were finalized.
“He did not take this for an answer, and kept pushing the issue,” the groom wrote. “The person he wanted to bring was not a partner, but a friend that neither me or my fiancée had ever met. I expressed my hesitation at having a stranger at the wedding, and [he] became upset.”
The best man argued that “he wasn’t asking for much” and accused the groom of wanting him “to be lonely” at the wedding. He even offered to pay for his guest’s meal “if money was the issue.”
“At that point, to keep the peace, I told him his friend could come,” the groom said. “But [he] was upset, and said he wasn’t even sure if he still wanted to go at that point.”
The groom gave his best man “a few days to cool off,” but their subsequent phone call remained tense.
“He once again expressed how upset he was that he had been denied a plus-one (despite the fact that we agreed to let him bring one), and said he was so upset he did not want to see us before the wedding,” the groom recalled. “This was particularly hurtful, as being the best man, he is meant to be organizing and hosting my bachelor party. In addition, this is a very close, lifelong friend, and it was painful to hear him say that he no longer wanted to see us.”
Attempts to explain his perspective failed, as the best man “did not want to hear it,” canceled their suit shopping trip, and abruptly hung up.
The following day, the best man called, asking if they could “forget” the disagreement and “move on.” But the groom felt he “deserves an apology” for the friend’s “childish and emotionally manipulative” behavior and refused to let him remain as best man.
“He refused to apologize, and it was then that I told him I no longer wanted him to be my best man,” the groom, who is set to marry in November, said.
“I feel that it is somewhat unreasonable to demand a plus-one as a member of the bridal party who is not in a relationship, particularly given he knows many people who would be attending and wanted to bring someone neither me or my fiancée had met. The biggest issue, though, is how he has acted since … I am not convinced he can put aside his feelings and be there for me on my special day.”
The two men haven’t spoken since the demotion. The groom is uncertain whether his former best man will attend as a guest—or if they are even still friends.
Many Redditors sided with the best man, calling it “completely unreasonable” for the groom to deny a plus-one while expecting him to handle multiple wedding responsibilities.
“I think it is extremely tacky not to give your bridal party a plus-one,” one commenter wrote. “They’re often expected to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on wedding-related events. But then you’re gonna turn around and tell them they can’t have a plus-one because you want to save money?”
