Groom’s Distant Stepbrother ‘Demands’ to be Made Best Man or Threatens to Skip Wedding

A man recently turned to Reddit for advice after a family dispute over his wedding plans left him second-guessing his choice of best man.

The 24-year-old groom-to-be explained that selecting his best friend, “Charles,” was an easy decision, since his relationship with his stepbrother, “Pete,” has always been distant.

“Yeah, we’re step brothers, but we never lived together,” he shared. “I lived with my mom, and he lived with my dad and stepmom.”

The two never attended the same school and rarely interacted, even during visits with his father. “Even then, the times he came out of his room when I was over were few and far between,” he wrote. “Even in the last six months, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve talked to Pete.”

In contrast, his bond with Charles is strong and enduring. “Whereas I’ve talked to Charles pretty much every day in the last six months,” he explained. “I used to invite Pete to do things with me and call to chat so we could actually have a brotherly relationship, but he never accepted my invitations or answered my calls, so I gave up trying.”

Pete, he said, “made it clear” he wasn’t interested in closeness, while Charles has been a steady part of his life. “Charles and I have known each other for 11 years and we used to hang out nearly every day,” he wrote. “He chose me as his best man for his wedding.”

For the groom, Charles feels like family. “If I’m being completely honest, I see Charles as a brother, while I don’t really see Pete as a brother—or even a stepbrother—just the son of the woman my dad married,” he admitted.

He emphasized that he holds no ill will toward Pete and that his stepbrother is still invited to the wedding. “He seemed like a decent guy, and he was (and still is) invited,” he said. “He just wasn’t in the wedding party because he’s basically a stranger.”

The conflict began when Pete discovered he hadn’t been chosen. “He said he was hurt that I didn’t pick him, then demanded I make him my best man,” the groom recalled. “I apologized and said I was sticking with Charles, and he replied that he wouldn’t come if he wasn’t chosen.”

About 30 minutes later, his stepmother called, which quickly escalated into an argument. “She went off on me for not choosing Pete as my best man,” he said. “She insisted I should have chosen him because ‘we’re brothers.’ ”

The call ended with an ultimatum: “She said she wasn’t coming if Pete wasn’t my best man, then hung up,” he wrote. Soon after, his father texted him, urging him to give in to “keep the peace.”

With just two weeks until the ceremony, the groom admitted he felt conflicted. “There’s this little voice in the back of my head wondering if I should just make Pete my best man,” he wrote, asking, “AITA for choosing my best friend instead of my stepbrother?”

The post has drawn significant support from Reddit users who defended his choice to keep Charles in the role. One commenter encouraged him, saying: “This is your day. Charles sounds like the BEST MAN for the job. Tell your family you’ll miss them at the wedding, but Charles is it.”

Another pointed out that Pete had years to build a relationship but never made the effort. “The stepbrother had many opportunities to be closer over the years and never met him halfway,” the commenter wrote. “He made the right choice because he picked someone he is actually close to, not just someone who’s ‘family.’”

The groom’s story struck a chord with readers, many of whom saw his decision as valuing genuine connection over obligation. Despite family pressure, his trust in Charles remains firm. “Charles and I are really close,” he said. “I’ve been there for him when he needs me, and he’s been there for me.”

No matter what Pete decides about attending, the groom seems confident that Charles is the one he can truly count on when his big day arrives.