A 35-year-old forensic accountant says he’s being unfairly cast as the villain in his own family after declining yet another request for a loan from his sister-in-law.
In a post on Reddit, the man explained that his wife Elena’s younger sister, Natasha, 29, has repeatedly leaned on them for financial help. “I’ve tracked every ‘loan’ we’ve given Natasha over the past three years,” he wrote. “It totals $8,340. Not a single dollar has been paid back.”
He said the reasons have run the gamut — car repairs, rent, emergency deposits, even surgery for her cat — and that Natasha has always promised to repay them, but never has.
“Every time Elena believes her. Every time I bite my tongue because I don’t want to be the bad guy,” he said.
Last week, Natasha called in tears, saying she needed $2,000 to avoid eviction. This time, he said he finally drew the line. “Elena was sitting right there. We discussed it together. We BOTH agreed we couldn’t keep doing this,” he explained. But things escalated quickly afterward.
According to his post, Natasha has now told their extended family that he’s “financially controlling” Elena and that she wanted to help but he “wouldn’t let her.” “She’s telling everyone I’m holding the purse strings and Elena has no say in her own marriage. That’s a lie,” he wrote.
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The family pressure has started to affect his wife. “Last night she said maybe we should ‘just help this one last time’ to ‘keep the peace,’ ” he shared. His reaction: “Keep the peace?? We’ve kept the peace to the tune of $8,000+.”
He told Elena that if she wants to give Natasha money from her own personal funds, that’s up to her — but he refuses to put any more of their shared money toward someone who is now misrepresenting him to relatives. “I feel like I’m going crazy. We agreed together. Natasha lied. And somehow I’m still the bad guy,” he said.
Since sharing his story, Reddit commenters have largely backed his decision to set boundaries — and offered clear advice.
“The family can give her money. Tell her she already owes you $8,340 and that is the end of you being her bank. She needs to pay her bills or move back with Mom,” one user wrote.
“Stand your ground. Enough is enough,” another commenter said.
A third person added, “NTA — boundaries. Lending money would just be enabling the underlying behavior. Maybe she needs to get evicted and move back in with her parents…?”
