Man Admits He Doesn’t Sleep in Same Bed as Partner. Now He’s Defending His Choice

The notion that couples should always share a bed has long been seen as a cornerstone of a strong relationship. Sleeping together is often linked to intimacy, closeness, and commitment — but not everyone agrees that it’s essential.

A recent Reddit post reignited the debate, with one user calling the expectation “one of the dumbest relationship myths ever invented.” They argued that the tradition ignores basic human needs like rest and personal space, suggesting that social norms may be pushing couples into sleep arrangements that harm rather than help their well-being.

“Wake up, people! Snoring, blanket stealing, midnight foot wars, and different circadian rhythms are not romantic, they’re torture,” the user wrote, claiming that poor-quality sleep can create more resentment than connection.

The discussion drew plenty of responses. Some commenters disagreed, emphasizing that many couples genuinely enjoy sharing a bed. “Not all couples have to do it, but many like to,” one person replied. Another added, “I hate when my husband works a night shift because the bed feels so lonely.”

The original poster clarified that choosing separate sleeping spaces isn’t about emotional distance but about maintaining individual well-being — which, they argued, strengthens the relationship overall. “Forcing couples to share a bed every night is controlling, unnecessary, and frankly, a recipe for disaster,” they said.

While many couples cherish bedtime together, others — including celebrities — have opted for what’s known as a “sleep divorce.” Carson Daly and his wife, Siri Daly, for example, revealed in 2020 that they stopped sharing a bed after struggling with comfort and sleep apnea issues. “We’re both pretty good-sized humans,” Daly explained at the time. “It just wasn’t really working… we were kicking each other and not sleeping.”

Ultimately, the Reddit thread highlights how modern couples are rethinking traditions once seen as nonnegotiable. As the original poster put it, “Separate beds or bedrooms mean better sleep, less passive-aggressive tension, and ironically more passion when you’re actually together. Space doesn’t kill love — it fuels it.”