Man Asks If He’s Wrong for Expecting Girlfriend to Keep Paying Half of the Bills After She Cuts Work Hours

A man turned to Reddit for advice after wondering if he was wrong to still expect his girlfriend to cover half of their shared rent and bills.

He explained that the couple had always divided expenses evenly while living together. Both worked full-time as trainees in different fields and were due to qualify within the next three months — a milestone that would come with long-awaited pay raises.

“We have plans for the future that the pay rise will help us achieve within the next 2–3 years,” he wrote, noting that their increased income was meant to support shared goals.

However, things became complicated when his girlfriend began opening up about her struggles with mental health. “My girlfriend suffers from depression and has had time off work a few times due to this,” he shared.

According to him, she had recently been considering reducing her hours and going part-time permanently, believing it would help her mental health. But the decision would also mean a lower income. “Instead of a £250 a month after-tax pay rise, she’ll end up with a £100 a month pay cut,” he wrote.

He tried to discuss how this could affect their joint financial plans, but the conversation didn’t go well. “I pointed out the impact this would have for our plans, but she said it doesn’t matter,” he explained. She reportedly added that if she went part-time, he would need to pay a larger share of their expenses — “likely at least 70% of the bills.”

The man said he refused this new arrangement, arguing that her personal choice shouldn’t increase his financial burden. “Her choosing to work less hours doesn’t mean her bills go down,” he wrote. He maintained that “if she reduced her hours then she’ll still have her half of the bills to pay.”

He reminded her that everyone faces responsibilities, even during tough times. “It’s her choice to reduce hours, and her wanting to work less doesn’t mean I have to pay more bills,” he wrote, adding that he’d also like to work less if he could, but “understand[s] bills need paying.”

According to the post, his girlfriend felt his stance was unfair and accused him of being unsupportive. “She said I wasn’t being fair since it’s affecting her mental health,” he wrote. But he stood firm: “It doesn’t change the fact we still have bills.”

He concluded his post by asking Reddit, “AITA for still expecting her to pay her half?”

The thread drew strong reactions from commenters, most of whom sided with him. One popular reply read, “NTA — unfortunately being an adult means you need to get your necessities covered before you can do what you want.”

Another user wrote, “NTA at all. If you agreed to this, then she’s one depressive stint away from not working at all and you keeping her.”

The discussion reflected a broader dilemma many couples face: balancing compassion for mental health with the realities of financial responsibility. While his girlfriend hoped to prioritize her well-being by cutting back at work, he believed that shared commitments should still be honored equally.