Man Goes Through ‘Bitter’ Separation. Then He’s ‘Shocked’ When Ex Still Expects Him to Buy Her Christmas Gifts from Their Kids

After a painful split, one dad says he was blindsided when his ex-wife seemed to expect Christmas presents “from the kids” that he would be responsible for buying.

In a post on Reddit’s AITA, the man explained that he and his ex separated in February of last year following what he described as an “awful” breakup. He said she cheated on him with someone they both work with — a person he considered a friend — and that the two allegedly hid the affair until he began noticing signs something was wrong.

The pair share three young children: a 7-year-old and 3-year-old twins. Since the separation, he said co-parenting has been challenging, and the two are still living under the same roof while they wait to move into separate places.

Before Christmas, his ex proposed that they split the costs of the children’s gifts. She also suggested that both parents should have presents, so the kids could see that mom and dad were included in the holiday, too.

He agreed, believing that meant he would buy gifts for himself to open in front of the kids. But on Christmas morning, he says he was surprised to find three additional presents waiting for him — labeled as gifts from his children.

The dad said the moment left him frustrated. If he had understood that the plan was for the kids to “give” gifts to both parents, he said he would have bought presents for his ex as well.

Later that day, his ex’s mother messaged him to say his ex was upset he hadn’t purchased gifts for her. According to the post, the mother-in-law told him it should be expected that he buys presents for his ex on Christmas, her birthday, and Mother’s Day — from the kids.

The dad said the message caught him off guard, especially because his former mother-in-law hadn’t been involved during the separation. Now, he wrote, he’s left angry and unsure whether he’s in the wrong.

In the comments, many readers sided with him, arguing that he isn’t obligated to shop for an ex — especially if that expectation wasn’t clearly discussed.

“NTA. You don’t have to buy your ex presents if you don’t want to and from the sounds of it, it seems the communication was you would organize your own presents,” one commenter wrote. They suggested telling the mother-in-law that if she wants to arrange gifts from the children to their mom, she’s free to do so — but he won’t be taking that on. The commenter also suggested returning the gifts his ex arranged “from the kids” to him.

Another person agreed, saying the ex’s expectations sounded more like relationship behavior than co-parenting.

“NTA. No. You can help your kids pick out something small for their mom while they are still young,” they wrote. “But something from you to her and her to you is a no-go and totally unnecessary. Or from you, to her from Santa, etc.” They added that the ex and her mother don’t get to dictate the arrangement and suggested using a co-parenting app to keep boundaries and communication clear.

A smaller number of commenters disagreed, arguing that helping children give gifts to the other parent can be part of co-parenting — regardless of the adults’ relationship status.

“I think part of being a parent is helping your kids get a gift for the other parent,” one person wrote. “They should be choosing it with your guidance. Whether you are a couple or not is irrelevant.”