Man Is ‘Tired of Dealing with’ Picky Family Members After His Birthday Dinner Plans Lead to ‘Hostile’ Interaction

A 22-year-old man turned to Reddit for advice after a tense birthday dinner brought up old family problems. In his post, he explained how choosing a restaurant for his birthday upset his dad’s wife, Kathleen, and her son, Benjamin.

“My dad married Kathleen when I was 15,” he wrote. Kathleen has two children, but he has only met one of them—Benjamin, now 18—who has serious allergies and a very limited diet.

“Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish,” he said. “On top of that, he and Kathleen are very picky eaters.”

He remembered how meals were always restricted when he lived with them. “His diet back then was pizza, fries, burgers, and beef and cheese tacos. He didn’t eat fruits or vegetables, and he only ate beef as meat,” he explained.

Kathleen also has many food dislikes. “I can’t remember everything she wouldn’t eat, but it included fish, potatoes, rice, pasta, bread—basically almost everything,” he wrote. This meant family meals were often limited to a few fast-food options.

Going out to eat as a family became stressful. “The food was never great, but it could have been worse. The worst part was that every time we ordered out for my birthday, it had to be one of those two places,” he said.

Even simple meals like tacos were tricky. “A taco place was out unless they removed all veggies and extras, leaving only meat and cheese. Sometimes they still added what Benjamin called ‘gross stuff,’ even when they tried to follow the rules.”

As he got older, he started skipping these family meals. “Whenever they wanted to go out, they expected everyone to eat at their fast-food places. I got tired of it,” he explained.

This year, he decided to do things differently. “A few weeks ago, I had a birthday dinner with my girlfriend, family, and friends. Dad wanted to come, but he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to come too.”

He welcomed them—but only if they would eat at the restaurant he chose. “I told him that was fine if they ate where I picked,” he said. But then he faced pushback.

“I got an email from Kathleen and calls from Dad saying my restaurant didn’t meet Benjamin and Kathleen’s needs,” he said. They even suggested traveling out of state for a place that worked for them.

He stood his ground. “I told Dad he could come, but I wasn’t changing my birthday dinner,” he wrote. Kathleen didn’t take the refusal well.

“She sent another email asking why I was being so hostile and said I should care about my family’s health and interests,” he explained. The email upset him, especially since he’s never even met her daughter.

Things got worse when other family members flew in to celebrate. “Dad and Kathleen were more upset that some of his side of the family joined us,” he said.

Now, he’s facing more anger just for choosing the restaurant he liked. But Reddit users were on his side.

“NTA,” one commenter wrote. “It’s your birthday. She’s your dad’s wife, not your stepmom.”

He agreed. “That sums it up. I don’t consider them real family—only the people my dad chose as his family,” he said.