Man Refuses to Drive 2 Hours to Ex’s House to Return Her Stuff, but She Won’t Come Get It

After ending a relationship, one man says he’s struggling to figure out what he owes his ex — and what crosses the line into doing too much.

In a Reddit post, he explained that he and his ex-girlfriend broke up over the phone and then went two weeks without speaking. While he doesn’t have much of his own belongings at her place, he’s holding on to a lot of hers — and she wants it back.

The complication: she lives two hours away, doesn’t drive, and she and her mother help care for her grandmother. Because of that, he says she’s assumed he’ll bring her things to her.

But he admits the breakup has taken a real toll.

“I am struggling to drive short distances,” he wrote. “My Ex doesn’t seem to understand that.”

He also questioned whether her family situation truly made it impossible for her to come to him, arguing her mother could cover caregiving duties long enough for them to meet and exchange items.

In the comments, people offered very different approaches.

One person suggested a clean, practical solution: ship everything — but only if she covers the cost upfront.

“You’ve been bending over backwards for her,” they wrote. “At this point, if she wants her stuff so badly, you can offer to send it to her — if she pays the shipping costs beforehand.”

They also recommended setting a firm deadline, warning that anything not collected or shipped by that date would be thrown away — and then cutting off contact.

Another commenter pushed back, saying he should still make sure her belongings are returned properly, but without turning it into ongoing back-and-forth.

“I don’t see why you have to drive her,” they wrote. “Either pack all her stuff in the car and drive it up once, or give her a deadline to come down and get it.”

For the man who posted, the situation seems less about boxes and belongings — and more about learning where responsibility ends and boundaries begin.1