Man Refuses to Tell Wife How Much Money He Makes or Give ‘Any Insight into His Finances,’ Says It’s ‘Not Important’

Money conversations can be awkward, especially after years of avoiding them.

In a Reddit post, a woman said she and her husband married this year after dating for nine years. Early in their relationship, he kept his finances very private, and the two never had a serious sit-down about money before getting married.

“As we’ve been together, we’ve slowly morphed into me working a part-time job and him paying all the bills which I am very grateful for and trying my best to show my appreciation as much as I can,” she wrote. “I also take care of all of the household duties and pay for groceries about half the time.”

“We’ve seemed to settle into this arrangement with no issues from either side,” she continued. “He’s never disclosed how much money he makes annually or given me any insight into his finances.”

She said she doesn’t know his exact salary, but believes “there’s no debt or anything like that for a few reasons I can’t disclose here.” She added that he has a strong credit score and she isn’t aware of any gambling debts.

When she received an offer for a six-figure job, though, she said her husband urged her not to take it — because the role would limit their ability to travel where he wants to go.

“He also bought our new house without me being present or even knowing he purchased it, saying it was a surprise,” she wrote. “I did tour it before and really liked it so it wasn’t an issue, it’s just the fact that I was not included in this decision-making.”

Now, as they look ahead, she wants a clearer picture of their finances. She covers her personal expenses with income from her job, but said if they have a child, she’d likely reduce her hours and become more financially dependent.

She tracks their spending in a spreadsheet and keeps tabs on bills, but says her husband still “will not tell me how much money he makes or show me bank accounts/statements (although I have seen one or two over the years on the counter).”

“He says I could assume from our lifestyle and cars that we’re well off. Our house is worth seven figures and our cars are around six figures,” she wrote. “I said I understood that but I feel that if I’m going to have a child with you and become more dependent, I’d like to fully understand. He says that it’s not important and that I’ll tell people.”

The woman stressed that she’s grateful for what they have — she just doesn’t want to enter parenthood without understanding the full financial reality.

“He thinks that it shouldn’t matter because I’m taken care of but I never anticipated I’d be in this position. I’ve always been a career-oriented person until this relationship,” she wrote.

In the comments, some readers questioned why the couple didn’t discuss finances more openly before marrying, arguing that full transparency should be non-negotiable.

“I am throwing this out there to everyone that gets married. You are being dumb if you don’t have a indepth conversation about finances with full transparency before getting married,” one person commented.

“He bought the house before you got married so that if you get divorced it will be considered a pre-marital asset and you’ll have no rights to it. He is hiding a lot intentionally and if you want to stay with him you need to be independent and get your ducks in a row because he is not going to take care of you,” another person wrote.