Man Says Girlfriend’s Parents Stop by ‘Unannounced’ 3 Times a Week, Then Get ‘Upset’ When He Asks for a Warning

A man reached out to the Reddit community after feeling overwhelmed by an ongoing issue with his girlfriend’s parents. In his post, he explained that while he genuinely likes them and considers them “nice people,” their frequent habit of arriving without warning has become increasingly intrusive.

“My girlfriend and I live together,” he wrote, noting that her parents live only 20 minutes away and “do their best to be as involved in our lives as possible.” At first, he didn’t mind the visits, but lately the unannounced drop-ins have been happening “1–3 times per week.”

For the most part, he said, he tries to handle it politely. But at times, it becomes incredibly disruptive. “Sometimes they turn up while I’m working from home and expect to have a chat, even though working from home is still working,” he explained.

On other occasions, they arrive right in the middle of dinner, expecting to join the meal. “They turn up in the middle of dinner and expect us to have enough for them,” he shared, describing the difficulty of constantly rearranging meals and plans.

The situation finally came to a head when he and his girlfriend were heading out for a date night. “Me and my girlfriend were heading out to the cinema as they turned up, and our evening plans had to be cancelled,” he recalled.

After that incident, he decided it was time to communicate boundaries. “I told them that they are always welcome but that they should let us know as it can be really inconvenient,” he said, emphasizing that he wasn’t trying to exclude them — just asking for notice.

His girlfriend’s mother didn’t take the request well. She became “visibly upset and said, ‘we are just trying to be family,’” and accused him of shutting them out.

Following that confrontation, the atmosphere shifted. “Now they haven’t turned up in over a week,” he wrote, and his girlfriend informed him that her mother is “quite upset with me,” leaving him feeling guilty.

Seeking clarity, he asked Reddit if he was in the wrong. Many users reassured him that he wasn’t.

One commenter said, “NTA. It’s incredibly rude to show up unannounced and expect people to drop everything to entertain the visitors.” The commenter also mentioned that his girlfriend should be the one addressing boundaries with her parents.

Another agreed: “NTA. It’s not their house. Ask them if it’s okay with them that you would drop by unannounced all the time?”

The man responded that his girlfriend’s parents likely wouldn’t object to unannounced visits, saying, “They would say yes and have even encouraged us to,” which he feels complicates things even more.

Still, most commenters insisted he was justified in his request. One pointed out that if the parents refuse to call first, “they at least need to accept a no instead of expecting you to drop your plans.”

Now, the man finds himself stuck between maintaining a positive relationship with his girlfriend’s parents and establishing reasonable boundaries within his own home.