Man Says He Doesn’t Want to Marry Girlfriend of 10 Years Because She’s ‘Bad with Money’

A man has taken to Reddit to explain why he doesn’t want to legally marry his long-term girlfriend—citing her questionable financial habits.

The 29-year-old shared his story in a post titled “[Am I the A——] for not wanting to legally marry my GF of 10 years because she is bad with money?”

He explained that he and his 28-year-old girlfriend have been together for a decade, though they currently live apart while he pursues an out-of-state Ph.D. program.

“I do love her and want to have a family with her,” he wrote.

The sticking point?

The man said he has significant student loan debt and won’t start earning a salary for at least four more years. His girlfriend, on the other hand, “makes 60K a year and lives with her parents, so the only expense she has is food.”

Despite their financial differences, he said his girlfriend still expects him to cover dinner and dates when he visits their hometown—a cost that can range from $500 to $1,000 per trip.

When he recently told her that he couldn’t realistically afford to foot the bill for everything, she “proceeded to get mad and claim I don’t prioritize her,” he wrote.

The OP explained that while he would be willing to marry her in a religious ceremony, he doesn’t feel comfortable entering a legal marriage given their differing approaches to money.

“It just seems like a dumb choice to financially bind myself to someone [who] acts like they have no financial sense,” he added.

Commenters overwhelmingly supported the OP’s caution, suggesting he reconsider whether this relationship aligns with his long-term goals.

“I’m a woman, and I would run very far away from this woman. Save yourself a divorce,” one person wrote.

“A good relationship should be a partnership where both people contribute. OP’s [girlfriend] is making this relationship transactional. A good partner would at least offer to do cheap dates and split the cost,” added another.

Another comment read, “She’s prioritizing stupid and obsolete societal norms over her relationship with him and his well-being. She’s a gold digger even though she’s the one holding the gold.”

Some commenters also urged the OP to consider fairness to his partner.

“[It’s] not fair to keep her around if you don’t see marriage in the future. You’re wasting both of your prime dating years. Cut bait and find someone who more aligns with your economic values. For her sake and yours,” one user wrote.