A man recently faced a tough choice: attend his grandfather’s funeral or join his pregnant wife for her 20-week ultrasound.
On Reddit, the 26-year-old explained that he and his 25-year-old wife had scheduled the ultrasound three weeks in advance. But just days before the appointment, he learned that his grandfather had passed away.
Unfortunately, the funeral and the ultrasound were set for the exact same time, forcing him to choose between the two events.
He ultimately decided to attend the funeral, held more than four hours from his home. Now, he says, his wife is upset over his choice.
The man offered to video chat with his wife during her ultrasound, but that didn’t seem to ease her disappointment.
“I’m emotionally torn from this,” he wrote, “because I’m so excited for my baby girl but also really sad about my grandfather.”
He added that his wife was aware he had planned to serve as a pallbearer at his grandfather’s funeral, whose health had been declining before his passing.
“My wife’s feeling[s] are always going to be valid, but I feel like mine aren’t being considered in this situation,” he said.
Reddit users largely supported his decision, suggesting that the ultrasound could easily be rescheduled.
“Grandpa’s funeral outranks an ultrasound,” one person commented. “Your wife can call the doctor and see if it’s possible to move the appointment.”
“Your wife should be willing to reschedule the appointment,” another added. “There’s no reason to try to force you into this choice. It’s an issue that’s easily solved.”
Some commenters felt his wife should be more understanding. “Your wife is being super unreasonable,” one wrote. “Reschedule the ultrasound. Shame on her for trying to make you feel guilty about this.”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” another said. “It’s a long boring appointment. She can also very easily call to reschedule. She’s being unnecessarily emotional when she should be more supportive.”
Many who sided with the man mentioned their own experiences with childbirth.
“The appointment could be rescheduled, the funeral cannot be,” one user wrote. “I’ve delivered 5 children. I was glad when my husband could be at my appointments, but often he couldn’t be. It’s not the end of the world.”
Another added, “As a wife, my answer is she should reschedule. It’s important for you to be at both, but one can’t be rescheduled.”
Ultimately, Reddit users agreed that attending the funeral was the right choice.
“Your daughter won’t know you missed the appointment,” one person said, “but your entire family will know you disrespected your father in his time of mourning.”
