Man Says His Male Friend Is ‘Upset’ Because He Doesn’t Adhere to the ‘Bro Code’: ‘There’s Nothing I Don’t Tell My Wife’

A man shared on Reddit that one of his longtime friends is angry with him because he doesn’t follow the so-called “bro code” and instead tells his wife everything. Now he’s asking online who’s really in the wrong.

He posted the story on the Reddit forum “Am I the A——”, where people ask for advice on personal conflicts. In the post, he explained that he is “happily married” and believes, “there’s nothing I don’t tell my wife.”

“IMO [in my opinion], if you can’t say something in front of your wife then you either shouldn’t be saying it, you should work on your communication, or you’re not as compatible as you thought,” he wrote.

The man added that he doesn’t believe in the “bro code,” which suggests men should never “betray” a male friend. He said his friend of 25 years has always known that about him.

But recently, the friend told him he wanted to share something “in confidence.” The man replied that anything said to him would also be shared with his wife.

That response upset his friend, who then asked their mutual friends whether they would tell their wives something said in confidence. According to the poster, almost all of their friends sided with his buddy.

The man ended his post with the question: “AITA [am I the a——] for not wanting to keep secrets from my wife and being open about that?”

Most commenters said he was in the wrong. They argued that while being open with a spouse is important, it shouldn’t come at the expense of betraying a friend’s trust.

“YTA [you’re the a——],” one person wrote. “Saying you tell your wife everything is fine when it’s about your own business. But when it’s your friend’s business, that’s not okay. Keeping your friend’s private matters to yourself is just basic decency.”

Another user added, “I believe what friends share should be kept private. Why does your wife need to know something about your friend that he wants to keep secret? Unless it directly affects her, it’s not her business.”

A third commenter agreed: “You don’t need to tell your wife everything. If it doesn’t involve her, you should be able to respect your friend’s confidence. If you can’t even do that, then maybe you’re not much of a friend.”