Man Says His Mom Is Upset Because He Called His Girlfriend ‘the Most Important Person’ in His Life

A 30-year-old man is refusing to apologize to his mom after she became upset when he shared plans to propose to his girlfriend.

In a post on Reddit’s AITAH forum, he explained that he and his 27-year-old girlfriend have been dating for about five years, having first been friends. He described his relationship with his mom as “very close,” but admitted that sometimes she shares things that feel “inappropriate” and doesn’t always listen when he wants to discuss his own struggles.

“Despite that, my mom is a great person and I have always tried to show my appreciation and gratitude towards her,” he wrote. “My mom has always loved my gf [girlfriend]. She says how smart, kind, funny, and perfect for me she is.”

He added, “My gf is incredibly kind to my mother as well and listens to her in the way I do and helps her a lot.”

The man said his girlfriend and mom have even attended events together, and everything seemed “awesome” until he recently shared his plans to propose before the end of the year.

“I was talking to them and I said something, ‘She is the most important person in my life’ to my parents,” he said. “My dad was happy and supportive, but my mom turned sour.”

He explained that she immediately began making “jokes” like, “‘She’s the most important person in your life? What about the person who birthed you?’” He tried to laugh it off, reassuring her that of course his parents were important too.

Since that discussion, the man said his mom has become “clingy” and has made “snide comments” when he doesn’t answer her calls right away. He said her behavior has been so unusual that he decided to give her some space.

“My dad called me after work informing me that my mom was in tears today because I have been ignoring her and he told me the ‘most important person in the world’ comment really got to her,” he said. “I told him it really should not be that deep and I was just expressing love for my gf.”

“He asked if I could apologize and I honestly don’t want to,” he added. “I don’t feel like I did anything wrong but my dad and mom are now treating me like the biggest a—– ever.”

Responses to the post largely reassured him that he was in the right, with many suggesting that his dad should confront his mom about her behavior.

“Your mother is very manipulative. I hope you always side with your girlfriend over your mom once you get married,” one commenter wrote. “Because what you are experiencing now is just a warmup for your mom’s main event, especially once you have kids.”

“NTA [not the a——] set boundaries and stick to them,” another added. “She’s being nice to your gf to have more control over your relationship. She’s going to be a nightmare when you two plan a wedding.”

“Your dad needs to tell your mom to GROW THE F UP and stop acting like a child, not coddling her and trying to make you apologize to her,” a third chimed in. “You need to make it crystal clear that when you do get married, your wife will be the most important person in your world, because that is the way it is supposed to be.

“I am going to tell you something that I was told in my pre-marital counseling 30+ years ago: You don’t owe your mother anything for BIRTHING you,” the same commenter added. “That’s a choice SHE made. You also don’t owe her for raising you. That was literally her job.”