Man Says His Mom Planned a ‘Family’ Trip That Excluded His Fiancé — So He’s Refusing to Go

A 27-year-old man says he’s upset after his mother decided not to invite his fiancée on an upcoming family vacation, despite the couple having dated for years and already setting a wedding date.

In a post shared on Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” forum, the man explained that his mother plans to invite his father, 59, his brother, 23, and his sister, 21 — but not his 27-year-old fiancée.

“We’ve been living together for three years, and we’re getting married next June,” he wrote. “I feel like this is a bit ridiculous, given how long we’ve been together and how integrated she is into our family.”

According to the man, his mother described the trip as a “one last family vacation” before he gets married. But he said that idea no longer makes sense to him.

“That ship sailed a while ago,” he explained. “I’ve long since moved out of my childhood home and started my own life with my fiancée.”

He added that his sense of family has shifted, and he now feels more like a unit with his partner than with his parents.

“It feels like my mom is trying to recreate a past dynamic that no longer exists, and I’m not comfortable with that,” he wrote.

The situation became more painful when his fiancée learned she wasn’t invited. According to the post, she told him she felt his mother was putting him in a position where he had to choose between them.

“I agree with her,” he said. “My fiancée is my main priority now, and I don’t want to start our marriage off on the wrong foot by prioritizing my mom’s wishes over hers.”

Things escalated further when his mother found out he didn’t want to attend the trip without his fiancée. He recalled her saying, “Oh, I forgot that when a son gets married, he is expected to pretty much abandon his family of origin and center his life around his fiancée or wife.”

She also suggested that men are unfairly criticized for prioritizing their partners and questioned whether his stance was his fiancée’s “influence.”

“I found that highly insulting,” he wrote, explaining that it implied he wasn’t thinking for himself or that he and his fiancée weren’t acting as a team.

Another comment from his mother struck him as especially troubling. She reportedly said that if the roles were reversed and a daughter went on vacation without her male partner, no one would be offended.

“I feel like that’s a pretty sexist take,” the man said. “It suggests I’m supposed to be less committed to my partner just because I’m a man.”

He also expressed surprise at how defensive his mother became.

“I would have thought she’d be more concerned about my fiancée’s feelings,” he wrote. “Instead, it feels like she’s prioritizing her own desires, and that doesn’t sit well with me.”

While the man admitted he wondered if he was wrong for not respecting his mother’s wishes, many commenters disagreed.

One response noted that his mother may be struggling to let go of an earlier version of her family, but emphasized that his fiancée is already part of his immediate family — regardless of the wedding date.

“You haven’t been part of your parents’ immediate family unit for years,” the commenter wrote. “Your fiancée has been part of that unit, and that reality isn’t going to change.”

Others encouraged the man to focus on supporting his partner and suggested planning a special trip or date together to move past the tension.

“You’re doing the right thing by backing your partner,” one commenter wrote. “This shows her that you’re a team and that she won’t be put in second place.”