Man Says Mother-in-Law’s Extended Stay Has Left Him Feeling Like a ‘Stranger’ in His Own Home

A man turned to Reddit for advice after nearly a year of strain in his marriage following his mother-in-law’s move into their home.

He and his wife, married for eight years, had always been “a good team, communicative, supportive,” and enjoyed a steady rhythm that made their home feel peaceful.

When his wife’s mother fell ill last year, he didn’t hesitate to step in. “I said yes when she asked if she could move in,” he shared, adding that it felt like the right choice because “family steps up, I wanted to be that kind of partner.”

The arrangement was originally supposed to be temporary. “The plan was short term, a few months to help her get back on her feet,” he explained. “That was ten months ago.”

Since then, life in their household has shifted dramatically. “Her mom slowly took over the spaces, she reorganized the kitchen and pantry without asking,” he wrote. “She comments on how I clean and how I cook, the living room is basically hers now with the TV blaring every night.”

Feeling crowded out, he began retreating to the bedroom most evenings just to get some quiet. Privacy has also become an issue. “She just walks into our room without knocking,” he said, noting that his mother-in-law now includes herself in their weekend plans uninvited.

He admitted intimacy with his wife has vanished. “We haven’t had sex in months and we barely get time alone,” he said. When he suggested boundaries, his wife urged patience, reminding him “it’s not forever.”

But after nearly a year, he confessed it no longer feels temporary. “I feel like I’m being pushed out of my own life. Like I don’t belong in the home we built together.”

The breaking point came during a recent conversation with his wife. “I told her I love her but I feel like a stranger here,” he recalled. “Like we’re just roommates around her mom instead of a couple. That I miss her and I miss us.”

Her reaction left him disappointed. “She got defensive and said I was being selfish and that her mom needs us,” he explained. While he acknowledged “maybe that’s true,” he also asked, “But what about what we need? What about our marriage?”

He now describes the atmosphere in the house as heavier than ever. “She’s cold,” he said of his wife. “Her mom won’t speak to me.”

Left questioning if he made things worse by speaking up, he admitted, “I’m stuck wondering if I messed everything up just by asking for space in the place I used to feel safe.”

The post sparked a wave of responses from Reddit users who sympathized. One commenter wrote, “You signed up for a few months, not a permanent third roommate who takes over the place. Wanting boundaries in your own home isn’t selfish, it’s common sense.”

Another warned, “NTA and it’s time for marriage counseling or else you are on the fast track to divorce.”

Others were more blunt about his options: “Your wife obviously can’t see or is unwilling to see the damage her mom is doing to your life and marriage so your options are basically counseling, you stay married but move out (and get counseling) or you start looking for a divorce attorney.”

For now, he remains torn between supporting his wife’s family and safeguarding his own well-being. As he put it, “I feel like I’m being pushed out of my own life.”