A father recently found himself in a tough spot with his wife after organizing a short getaway with his 13-year-old son from a previous marriage.
Posting to Reddit’s “AITAH” forum, the man shared that he had planned a “quick trip” to San Diego with his teenage son. The father explained that his first marriage ended roughly eight years ago.
Initially, he and his ex-wife had 50/50 custody. Then, for about four years, the son lived with him during the weekdays. However, due to changes in his work schedule and access to better schools near his ex-wife’s home, the father eventually became the “weekend parent.”
He now shares a toddler with his wife of six years. The couple recently enjoyed two trips together without the kids, but beyond that, he said, “We had not a single night alone together for 20 months.”
Wanting to spend some one-on-one time with his teenage son, he organized a three-day beach trip to San Diego.
“When I asked him at the beginning of summer break what he wanted to do, he listed off one thing—go to the beach,” the father said.
However, things took a turn when his wife didn’t respond well to the news.
He admitted he hadn’t included her in the planning process, explaining that her job as a flight attendant means she’s away most weekends. “This means my weekends with my 13-year-old are also spent caring for his baby brother, making it hard for us to have quality time together—just the two of us,” he said.
He continued, “My son went from having me in his life every night, to 50/50 custody, to just weekends, and now those weekends are shared with a toddler. That’s weighed heavily on me. I wanted time alone with him to strengthen our bond.”
Despite his intentions, his wife expressed that she felt “hurt” by the trip.
“She feels she and our younger son are being excluded and that it’s creating a divide in the family,” he wrote.
While he acknowledged and empathized with her emotions, he hoped his wife could understand the perspective of his teenage son.
“In a few years, when our youngest is older, this would absolutely be a full family trip,” he added. “But anyone who’s traveled with a toddler knows how disruptive it can be. My 13-year-old experiences that every weekend. I wanted to give him something just for him.”
He also mentioned that he and his wife already have a road trip scheduled for later in the year, stressing that the San Diego vacation “is not in lieu of any activities with her.”
Nonetheless, he said his wife has started “ghosting” both him and his teenage son since finding out about the plans.
When he turned to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong, commenters overwhelmingly took his side. “Your wife gets you all the time. Your 13-year-old has very limited and shared time with you. One trip alone with his dad isn’t going to hurt her,” one user commented.
That commenter went on to say the wife “sounds jealous and immature.”
Another person raised concerns about the wife’s attitude toward the teenage son, writing, “Is she always this resentful of your son? Check in with him—make sure she hasn’t been unkind.”
A third user emphasized the importance of the father-son bond during the teenage years: “You don’t have that much time left. Soon it’ll be high school, part-time jobs, and a packed schedule. You should absolutely take the trip. Your wife needs to understand how meaningful this is.”
