Man Threatens to Stop Paying His Parents’ Mortgage and Bills If They Keep Letting His Sister Live Rent-Free

A man turned to Reddit for perspective after a long-simmering frustration with his parents — and his younger sister — finally boiled over.

In his post, he explained that he has been helping his parents financially for years and never minded doing it. What started to bother him, however, was the growing sense that his money was effectively underwriting what he called his 26-year-old sister’s “pseudo free ride.”

According to him, his sister has “a decent job” but still lives at their parents’ house without contributing toward household expenses. “Why pay rent, food, utilities etcetera when you can get it for free,” he wrote, noting that she often brags about how much she’s able to save by staying at home.

At the time of his post, she was “currently on a vacation with friends in Japan,” a trip he pointed out she could comfortably afford because she had so few financial responsibilities back home.

The situation came to a head when he confronted his parents. “I recently told my parents they need to give her the boot and let her be an adult or I will stop helping them out with their expenses,” he said.

He stressed that he doesn’t resent helping his parents, especially because “our parents did good by us.” What he struggled with was the idea that his support was indirectly funding his sister’s lifestyle. “I don’t feel right giving my sister a pseudo free ride,” he wrote. “She brags how she is ahead of the game for retirement and stuff.”

He said he called her out on that attitude: “I told her of course she is, all her major expenses are covered by someone else.” His parents, however, dismissed his complaints, arguing that “it was a lot harder for my sister’s age group.” He disagreed, telling them, “It was hard for me also, but I had to make it work.”

The man, who is about a decade older than his sister, admitted that part of his reaction might be tied to how differently they were treated. “Maybe an aspect of jealousy is present because living at home was never an option for me,” he reflected.

For his sister, staying at home “was just assumed,” he said, whereas independence had been expected from him. He also recalled feeling a difference in how their accomplishments were celebrated: “I graduate with honors and get a card with 50 bucks,” he wrote. “She graduates it is a major milestone and family event.”

Beyond the emotional sting, he emphasized the practical reality: their parents couldn’t afford to keep his sister at home rent-free without his help. “I pay their mortgage, insurance, and property taxes,” he said, explaining that his contributions are a major reason they’re able to stay afloat.

That’s why his parents’ next suggestion stunned him. “They suggested I use that money to help my sister instead so she can move out,” he wrote. He was incredulous: “WTF, she can afford to fly and stay in Japan for one month, she goes on multiple vacations a year and she needs help paying for rent?”

He acknowledged that his parents’ protectiveness comes from a place of worry. They are concerned about his sister’s mental health, he said, adding that she has a history of shutting down emotionally and once coped by “self medicating” in high school. While he didn’t dismiss those concerns, he questioned whether shielding her from responsibility was actually preventing her from growing up.

The man also wondered if his frustration made him the bad guy in the situation. “Maybe I am just being the jealous older sibling because I did not get the same type of love and care she did,” he admitted.

He explained that he has always been seen as “old reliable,” someone whose achievements were expected, while his sister’s accomplishments were treated as remarkable. That left him asking, “Though yeah, am I being an a—— here not taking into account my sister’s and her generation’s issues and hardships?”

His father told him he should keep helping simply because “it is the right thing to do,” but the man still felt conflicted and asked Reddit whether he was being “petty” for drawing a financial boundary.

Commenters largely backed his decision. One person told him bluntly, “You ARE basically just paying your sister’s bills. Pull back all money.”

Another suggested a more formal approach if his parents wanted continued help with housing: if they needed support with the mortgage, “they deed entirely to you. Then sis can learn about adulting by paying you rent or she can hit the bricks.”