Man Wants to End Engagement as Fiancée Chooses Her Pets Over Him: ‘I Genuinely Hate the Pets’

A man turned to Reddit for advice after coming to a painful realization — his fiancée’s pets may matter more to her than he does.

The 30-year-old shared that he and his 28-year-old fiancée have been together for five years and engaged for one, but haven’t made wedding plans yet due to “work, low energy, and finances.”

“When we met, she had three pets: an older cat, an elderly dog, and a younger dog,” he wrote. “I’ve always liked animals but never wanted any myself.” He initially admired her compassion for taking in unwanted family pets, but that feeling didn’t last.

Over time, things spiraled. “She kept adding more,” he explained. “We got another dog, which I thought I wanted at first, but that changed fast.” Being autistic and sensitive to noise, he asked her to rehome the new dog — but she refused.

The situation worsened when she brought home guinea pigs, bringing the household pet total to seven. He supported her financially for nearly two years after she lost her job, covering living expenses, her car, the house, and every pet-related cost. “She cleaned sometimes and cooked occasionally,” he noted, but said her lack of contribution took a toll.

When some pets passed away, he hoped life might stabilize. Instead, she replaced them almost immediately. “When the older cat and guinea pigs passed away, she immediately got two new cats against my wishes,” he said. “I told her I didn’t want cats or litter boxes in our laundry room. I’m not a cat person.”

The ever-growing number of animals completely changed their lifestyle. “I was excited about the idea of traveling, but we can’t leave the house for more than 12 hours,” he admitted. “The laundry room constantly smells like litter, and vacations are basically off the table.”

Even their plans for children were derailed. “We talked about kids and agreed that if we got more cats, we wouldn’t have the time, energy, or money for children. I’ve always wanted kids. She said she wanted the cats.”

Recently, he asked her to return to full-time work so she could manage her own expenses — including healthcare, the pets, and her share of the mortgage — while he saved for a second home. “I told her what she needs to make to cover her own bills, pets, retirement, and savings, but every month I still end up transferring her money,” he wrote. “It’s even hurting my mortgage approval because lenders don’t like seeing me fund someone else’s bills.”

The financial strain is constant. “We spend around 5k a year on pet expenses, probably more,” he said. “When we met, we talked about traveling, starting a business, and buying a better home. Instead, all our time and money go into pets.”

Their relationship grew even more strained during his health struggles. After undergoing multiple hip surgeries, including a total replacement, his fiancée was largely absent. “She dropped me off and picked me up but didn’t attend appointments or stay for surgery,” he recalled. When he confronted her, she replied that he should’ve scheduled it outside her company’s PTO blackout. “She’ll take time off for a dog but not for me,” he said.

His recovery has also been complicated by the animals. “I’m supposed to stay away from the pets because I’m on immunosuppressants,” he explained. “But they keep pushing past the gate to our upstairs area. I’ve almost fallen several times because of their clutter, which ‘can’t be moved because it’s theirs.’ ”

A recent incident was the final straw. “Today she left the gate open and let the dogs in the bed, but didn’t have time to wash the sheets so I’m sleeping on a futon that doesn’t recline or pull out and is smaller than a love seat,” he wrote. “When I ask her to help with simple things like removing compression socks or bringing me an ice pack, she says she feels like a servant. I get that, but she scoops litter and vacuums fur every day without complaint.”

The man admits he feels like he ranks below the pets. “She says I should’ve known she was a ‘pet person,’ but I never imagined living in a house that revolves around them,” he confessed. “I’ve reached the point where I genuinely hate the pets, and I don’t think I can come back from that.”

Still, he feels conflicted. “I feel awful because I love her. I just hate the pets,” he concluded.

Many Reddit users empathized. One commenter wrote, “It sounds like you’ve tried to make your voice heard and it’s falling on deaf ears. You never signed up for the chaos you’re in right now. As someone also on the spectrum, you need to do what’s right for your mental health.”

Another added bluntly, “You should’ve broken up with her when she got those guinea pigs, and if not then, when she got two new cats against your wishes. You are blatantly being used.”