A teenage girl recently turned to Reddit for guidance on a complicated situation involving her “blended” family and the expectation that she treat her stepsiblings the same as her biological relatives.
She explained, “My mom has me (16f) and my brother (19m). My stepdad has my three stepbrothers (17, 12, 11) and my stepsister (15).” Both parents were widowed before marrying, and she lost her father at age 3. By the time she was 6, her mother had remarried.
Problems began early when her mom tried to distance her from her father’s family. “My mom and dad’s family never got along and when she started dating my stepdad she tried to cut us off from our dad’s whole family, which forced my grandparents to fight for grandparents rights and they won three days a month of visitation,” she wrote.
According to the teen, the subject of visitation remained tense throughout her childhood. “They don’t like that we have access to a whole bunch of family who only included me and my brother,” she said.
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Her mother and stepfather became especially irritated when her paternal grandmother and aunts invited her to “girly days” with her cousins — but not her stepsister. The teen explained that she never felt connected to her stepsister in that way.
Her stepsister, who loved “girly” activities but didn’t have sisters of her own, grew jealous. “My stepsister started getting jealous because we’re not close anyway and then I was doing girly stuff she always wanted to do with me with others,” she wrote. Still, she emphasized that they simply didn’t share that bond.
The exclusion wasn’t limited to shopping trips or spa days. Her late father’s family regularly took her and her brother on outings — beaches, restaurants, amusement parks, and more. “They bought us stuff too but mostly they focused on taking us places or experiences,” she explained. While her stepsiblings wanted to join in, the teen admitted she just wanted to enjoy time with her paternal relatives.
Her mother did not approve. “My mom would bring it up to me when my stepsister wasn’t around and she would show her frustration when I didn’t change my mind or invite her next time,” she wrote. The conflict reached a peak when her stepsister finally asked why she was never included.
“I told her because I don’t want to,” she said bluntly. Her mother was furious — insisting that excluding the stepsister was “a huge problem” and that she should invite her solely because she knows the girl longs to be included. The teen recounted her mother telling her that she “shouldn’t make this a bigger source of rejection” and that it was “cruel to know someone wants to be included and to never include them.”
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Despite the pressure, the teen felt torn about being forced into a relationship she didn’t feel was natural, so she asked Reddit whether she was in the wrong.
Many commenters sided with her. One said, “Your mother, who didn’t want your grandparents in your life in the first place, now expects you to include her stepdaughter when you do things with them. Makes no sense.”
The teen agreed, saying, “I know! But my mom is like well if they do it with you she should be included when she wants to be.”
Another user added, “Tell your mom that it’s HER and HER HUSBAND’S fault. They’re the reason the grandparents have only a few days of visitations. THEY are the reason for how things are. If she wants her stepdaughter to do ‘girly stuff,’ then she can do it with her.”
