Mom ‘Confused’ When Mother-in-Law Gets Son, 8, a Coffee Table Book for Christmas. She’s Defensive When Asked to Buy Another Gift

A mother is questioning whether she crossed a line after asking her mother-in-law to swap out her son’s Christmas present.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the original poster (OP) said her 70-year-old mother-in-law bought Christmas gifts for her two children — including items she feels may be upsetting for her 8-year-old.

The mom explained that she welcomed a second child last year, and her older son has been “really struggling” with jealousy since he’s no longer the baby. Because of that, she said she’s been making a deliberate effort to help him feel valued and included.

According to the post, the baby’s gifts include several toys she knows he’ll enjoy, such as a Mickey Mouse-themed car and a talking Mickey Mouse. But for the older child, the grandmother chose a board game, a nutcracker, and a coffee table book about artist Jean-Michel Basquiat.

OP said her son isn’t into board games and admitted she was “genuinely … so confused” about the coffee table book. When she asked, her mother-in-law explained that she thought the book might inspire him because he sometimes draws Roblox characters.

Still, OP worried her older son would compare the presents: a wrapped toy car and playful toys for the baby, versus a coffee table book and board game for him. She raised the concern with her mother-in-law — but said her mother-in-law pushed back, noting that the nutcracker cost $50 and was intended to be the bigger gift. The grandmother also said she spent the same amount on each child, so the gifts were equal.

OP then asked others if she was wrong for requesting different gifts.

In the comments, some people felt both sides handled the situation poorly.

“[Everyone sucks here] just because you should not be telling someone what to buy/ re buy for Christmas,” one commenter wrote. They added that sibling jealousy is ultimately something parents need to address — though they also criticized the gift choices, saying the grandmother was wrong for buying a coffee table book for a child.

Others sided with OP and argued the grandmother’s choices didn’t match the child’s age or interests.

“NTA. Older people often buy what they consider ‘nice’ presents for slightly older children, and then get offended when they don’t like them,” another commenter said, explaining that what feels “nice” to a 70-year-old may not land well with an 8-year-old. They also suggested it’s fair to warn the grandmother that the gifts might not be enjoyed — and that she could be wasting her money.

A third commenter said OP wasn’t wrong to flag the issue, but suggested a more practical compromise: asking for a receipt so the book could be exchanged for something her son would actually want.

“NTA but the better thing would be, ‘Please make sure the book comes with a receipt so we can exchange it for something less disappointing,’” they wrote, adding that the bigger issue wasn’t the dollar value, but how the gifts would feel when opened side-by-side. They also noted that $50 on a nutcracker for a child seemed like an odd choice, saying that money could have gone toward a more age-appropriate gift.