Mom Excludes Partner’s Name from Son’s Birthday Gifts After Years of Doing It All Herself

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after a disagreement with her partner over their children’s birthday celebrations. The 30-year-old mother shares that she and her 32-year-old partner have two young sons, and birthdays have become a sensitive topic in their household.

She explains that their childhood experiences shape how they now approach special occasions. “My partner and I had somewhat similar childhoods, where our parents had to make ends meet more often than not, so birthdays were hard,” she writes. “But being the youngest in his family, my partner had always been spoilt; whereas being the oldest in mine, I often went birthdays forgotten.”

Because of that contrast, she says she naturally took on the role of making holidays and birthdays feel special. “Growing up with and without money, I’ve always been the gift-giver in my family because I liked making them feel special,” she shares. Now, with two sons of her own, she feels an even stronger pull to create happy memories.

She admits part of her effort is tied to her past. “Each year I’ve made an effort to make our sons’ birthdays special, and perhaps heal a part of my childhood too,” she says. Yet despite her dedication, her partner rarely contributes to planning.

“Though I’ve asked multiple times for help planning, funding, organizing, or even brainstorming ideas for either birthday set-ups or presents, my partner has always been either disinterested, reluctant, or downplays the effort I put into it,” she explains.

She adds that his family has also criticized the amount of time and money she invests in celebrations, which she believes influences his lack of involvement.

As their oldest son’s fifth birthday approaches, she has already started preparing. “Our oldest turns 5 in a month, and I’ve already bought decorations and presents with my own money because I was done waiting for my partner to ‘sit down and talk about planning the birthday,’ which goes nowhere,” she writes.

Even when her partner offers to contribute financially, the money rarely materializes. “The money he says he’d contribute turned into stalling: ‘when do you need it?’ With each passing day, I’d say: ‘Now, so that bought things will arrive on time,’” she recalls.

This year, the mother decided to take a stand. She explained she won’t be signing her partner’s name on the gifts she’s already purchased. “AITA because I said I’ve bought some presents, and that it’s not from ‘us’?” she asks Reddit. She admits she’s never done this before but feels frustrated that her partner continues to take credit despite doing little to help.

One commenter quickly reassured her that she’s not at fault. “He does none of the work but tries to take credit for yours? That’s bull,” they write. They also raise a bigger concern, asking if this is part of a pattern where he avoids the emotional labor of family life.

The woman acknowledges that the issues don’t end with birthdays. “It’s usually birthdays and Christmas I find there’s issues. And not just our sons, but for most people, including for myself,” she confesses.

She points out that her partner does show more initiative in other areas. “He will, however, look for gifts for his work mates,” she says, noting the stark contrast to the effort he puts into family occasions.

By sharing her story, she hopes to find clarity on whether she’s wrong for leaving his name off the presents. For many readers, the deeper issue seems to be the imbalance in effort and care between the couple and how it affects the family moments meant to bring them closer together.