Mom Says Daughter, 9, Lies in Order to Be the Center of Attention. Now She’s ‘Tired’ of Her Behavior and Worried for Her Future

A mom recently turned to Reddit for advice on how to help her 9-year-old daughter handle situations where she isn’t the center of attention.

In her post on the parenting subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that her daughter often feels “ignored and excluded” when others aren’t focused on her. After observing several of these moments firsthand, the mom realized the issue wasn’t that anyone was ignoring her child — it was that the girl expected to be the focal point.

“Everyone is acting normally and fine, but she thinks they are ignoring her or not listening to her,” the mom wrote. “She is making up versions of reality that objectively aren’t true.”

The mom said her daughter tends to feel sorry for herself in these moments, which often leads to outbursts or withdrawal — making it even harder for her to get the attention she craves.

According to OP, the 9-year-old isn’t very open to feedback, and it’s beginning to affect her friendships.

“She isn’t receptive to feedback about this and she’s having friendship difficulties, which I fear will get worse because of these reactions,” she explained. “I’ve seen her friends try really hard to be good to her, and their parents are working with us too to support my kid because they know she’s having a tough time, but she seems to have impossible main-character expectations right now. Nothing her friends do seems to be enough to satisfy her. She’s always got a chip on her shoulder.”

The mom added that the behavior extends beyond her daughter’s friend group. At a recent family gathering, for example, the girl grew upset because everyone was briefly paying attention to her cousin who had just lost her first tooth.

“It was like five minutes in a five-hour event, but she was hysterical about it later that night, claiming nobody cares about her, just her cousin,” OP wrote.

As a parent, the mom admitted she’s growing weary of trying to help her daughter navigate these feelings.

“Even I’m tired of her behavior and I’m her mom who loves her unconditionally, so it seems likely only a matter of time before she permanently loses friends over this dramatic, self-pitying attitude,” she said. “I’m also exhausted trying to support her through these challenges when her take is just so skewed and negative all the time.”

She concluded by asking other parents for advice: “If you’ve been in similar situations, how did you help your kid navigate these scenarios better?”

In the comments, many parents offered insight and encouragement. One suggested that a little “tough love” might be necessary.

“This is the age where tough love is very much needed,” the commenter wrote. “It sounds harsh, but this is when kids start learning that the world is bigger than them. They need to understand that, and the only way to fix it is through straightforward dialogue — not hateful, just honest and clear that manners and empathy are required.”

Another parent shared that they had faced a similar issue with their own daughter, who was naturally magnetic and often the center of attention.

“It was very hard for her when attention wasn’t coming her way, because she thought it was her given right,” they explained. “I told her the attention won’t always be on her — and that giving attention to others can actually feel good, too.”

They added that they practiced redirecting focus: asking others questions and showing interest in what someone else had to say.