A woman turned to Reddit for support after what was supposed to be a relaxing birthday morning ended in frustration and hurt feelings. The 39-year-old shared that her only wish for her special day — to sleep in — quickly unraveled into disappointment.
The night before her birthday, she said she asked her husband of 21 years to handle the morning routine with their kids so she could finally get some extra rest.
“I went over everything in detail, told him how to do the drop-off, what the kids need, and he agreed to it,” she wrote. “I was REALLY looking forward to sleeping in cause it’s something I don’t have the opportunity to do often — I literally can’t remember the last time I slept in.”
But when morning came, things didn’t go as planned. Instead of helping the kids get ready, her husband “went straight for the shower,” leaving her to manage the chaos. “He was in there for almost 30 minutes,” she said, describing how she ended up “breaking up the bickering, answering the questions, finding the sweatshirts, doing the little girl’s hair, waking up the teenager, etc.”
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When she later confronted him, his response only added to her frustration. “I told him afterwards that he was selfish and made sure that he took care of himself, but God forbid he gives me one day and helps get the kids ready,” she wrote. His reply? “SO sorry for bathing. Didn’t know that was ‘mean,’ ” followed by an eye roll.
“I just wanted one stinking day to sleep in. Just one!” she added, noting that “he did the same thing to me on Mother’s Day too.” Wondering if she was overreacting, she asked the Reddit community, “Am I being completely unreasonable here?”
In an update, she revealed more about their family dynamic, explaining that they have several children, including a 4-year-old who is hard of hearing. “My house gets loud if we aren’t on top of it,” she said. Her husband had agreed to manage the morning, but “he woke up with the kids and not earlier. I wouldn’t have minded if he planned his day out accordingly.”
Despite being the main caretaker, she noted that she also works — “and make more $$ than he does” — though she’s self-employed and arranges her schedule around the kids.
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Even when she tried to rest, her children kept coming to her. “The kids were in my bed, a couple were tapping me on the face, and they’re loud cause some can’t hear well. Hard to sleep through all that,” she wrote.
Commenters quickly rallied behind her. One said, “The problem isn’t the shower. It’s that he didn’t do what he promised.” Another added, “NTA. It sounds like you communicated clearly what you wanted and how he should do things. To me that’s him disrespecting you, like big time.”
She admitted this behavior wasn’t new. “No this isn’t the first time he’s been completely selfish. Likely won’t be the last,” she said, explaining that things changed after she was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. “It wasn’t always like this — it started when I was diagnosed with cancer. Had my surgery almost exactly 2 years ago.”
On her birthday, instead of resting, she said she ended up hiding from the noise. “I’m just going to hide in the laundry room folding laundry and will head to work later for a meeting I have,” she wrote. “Is what it is now.”
