Mom Says She’s Unsure About Telling a Fellow Parent a Secret She Was Told About Their Daughter

A mom is struggling with whether to share a secret her daughter has confided in her about a fellow student at school.

In a post on the UK-based forum Mumsnet, she explained that she’s been working on building strong communication with her daughter, who is around 11, as she approaches her teenage years. Her daughter sometimes keeps things to herself for months but opens up when she feels ready.

“She had a chatty evening yesterday and told me her friend has a date and asked me not to tell the mom, who I’m friends with,” the woman wrote. “All sounds dead innocent, a kid in the same year, just a walk in the park after school.”

She admitted feeling torn. “I still feel that the mom ought to know, but am rueful about betraying DD’s [dear daughter’s] trust.”

The mother shared that she’s considering speaking to the other parent while also giving her daughter a lesson on “good and bad secrets.”

“I feel like she probably told me as she was a bit unsure herself what to do with the info and didn’t feel right keeping it in,” she added.

“I’m seeing the mom later and won’t have a chance to chat to DD first, so I’m wondering whether to wait and tell her over the weekend when I’ve chatted to DD. WWYD [what would you do]?”

Responses on the forum were overwhelmingly in favor of protecting the daughter’s trust.

“Christ, you don’t need to be telling the other mom about her daughter who is in year 7 going for a walk with a boy in year 7,” one user wrote. “If the friend was planning to get picked up in a car by a 17-year-old lad, then yes, tell her. I can guarantee that if you do tell the other mom, it will 100% get back to your daughter that you were the one who told the mom about it.”

Another commented, “A young girl is going for a walk in a park with a young boy, and you want to tell the mom this nothing piece of information? You’re in for a tough few years if you think this is the sort of thing a parent must be informed about 😬.”

“I mean this kindly, but it’s pretty obvious why your daughter doesn’t share with you, isn’t it?” a third chimed in. “Why would it even enter your head that this needed reporting back? I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an almost unanimous poll on MN [Mumsnet]. Learn to step back before she tells you even less!”

“I wouldn’t betray my daughter’s trust over a walk in the park with kids the same age,” another added. “You do this and she won’t tell you secrets in the future when there may actually be reason to intervene.”