Mom-to-Be Torn Over Whether to Take on a ‘Big Mortgage’ or Stay in a Tiny-But-Free Apartment — and the Internet Has Thoughts

A soon-to-be mom says she’s conflicted about whether she and her husband should remain in their affordable, rent-free apartment or take on “a big mortgage” to move into a larger home.

The woman shared her dilemma on the “Am I Being Unreasonable” forum on the U.K. community site Mumsnet.com, where users often seek advice on personal and family matters. She explained that she’s in the “very early stages of pregnancy,” but she and her husband have already started thinking about their future living situation.

She noted that they currently reside in a “lovely” two-bedroom apartment owned by family, meaning they don’t pay rent and can stay indefinitely — though the property isn’t theirs to “keep or sell.” The setup works well for them as a couple, she said, but it’s not ideal for raising a baby. The apartment is on the second floor without an elevator or stroller space, and both she and her husband work from home, which would make things feel cramped once the baby arrives.

Staying put would keep their expenses low, she wrote, while buying a home would mean taking out a mortgage and spending most of their savings. “We’d like more than one [child], so moving and [a] big mortgage is inevitable at some point,” she explained. “Am I being unreasonable to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?”

Opinions on the forum were split.

Many advised the couple to stay put and save while they can. “I’d stay where you are and save as much as possible while pregnant or when the child is still small,” one commenter said. Another agreed: “Stay as long as you can and use this fantastic opportunity to save up.”

A third user warned, “You’d be insane to give up your current situation before you have to,” emphasizing that the couple’s rent-free arrangement would allow them to build a substantial nest egg for a future home purchase.

Others, however, argued that moving sooner might make more sense. “Do it now. Much easier to move and house hunt without a baby! Also, if you both work from home, things are going to start feeling very tight when [maternity] leave ends,” one commenter wrote. Another added, “I would want my child to have the stability of a home I own.”