Mother-in-Law ‘Can’t Seem to Help Herself’ From Making ‘Subtle Jabs’ After Woman Gives Birth

A new mother says her relationship with her mother-in-law has become strained since the arrival of her baby, with visits turning into opportunities for “subtle jabs” rather than genuine support.

In a post on Reddit, she explained that before her child was born, contact with her husband’s mother was “sporadic.” Now, however, the mother-in-law has been visiting “more than ever,” which has been difficult for her to handle.

“My husband has told her not to come if I’m trying to rest, but she seems upset by it,” she wrote, noting that the visits aren’t to help with the baby but rather to “sit and chat.”

While she appreciates that her mother-in-law wants to spend time with her grandchild, the woman says the atmosphere is far from pleasant. The criticisms range from comments about the baby’s crib — calling it “flimsy” or “too expensive,” despite not having contributed financially — to disapproving remarks about the size of their home.

“She makes me feel embarrassed at my home that I’ve worked hard on,” the mother wrote, adding that the house makes financial sense for them right now and that they’re happy living there.

The mother-in-law also critiques her parenting style, claiming the baby’s sleep routine is lacking and that her diet is unhealthy.

“My husband has told her off previously about her comments, but it hasn’t changed,” she wrote. “I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll be accused of causing problems or of refusing contact with the grandbaby.”

In the Reddit comments, many urged her to set firm boundaries. One user wrote, “Your child is not an object that can be ‘withheld.’ If your MIL behaves out of pocket and disrespects you in your own home, then you don’t have to host her. The consequence of her actions is that she spends less time with you and your child. That is her cross to bear, not yours.”