Mother-in-Law’s ‘Crazy’ Habit of Ranking Her Grandchildren Has New Mom Worried About Daughter Feeling ‘Replaced’

Family relationships can get complicated fast — especially when someone insists on having a “favorite.”

One new mom says joining her husband’s family came with an unexpected problem: her mother-in-law’s habit of openly declaring which grandkids she likes best.

Sharing her story on Reddit, the woman explained that after her daughter was born a year ago, she began noticing a troubling pattern. Her mother-in-law didn’t just subtly show preference — she announced it.

“She always tells people how she’s more fond of her other daughter in law (let’s call her kate), which I kind of get because kate’s been in the family for like 15 years and has three boys,” the woman wrote.

According to her, the comments often turn to the grandchildren — including ones who don’t even exist yet.

“She keeps telling me that my daughter is her favourite grandchild for now, then she’ll add something like ‘but when kate has a daughter, ohhhhhh she’ll be my number one’ and she says it so casually, like it’s totally normal to say that to a new mom,” she added.

What hurts the most, the mom said, is how casually her mother-in-law talks about replacing her daughter in her affections. She’s repeatedly mentioned that she’s “waiting very patiently” for Kate to have a girl, insisting that hypothetical child would hold “a special place in her heart.”

What really crossed the line, though, was how this behavior started affecting the kids directly.

The grandmother has allegedly ranked the grandchildren out loud and even told one child to their face that they weren’t her favorite — a comment that ended in tears when the child “felt they weren’t loved by her.”

The poster said she understands that people “naturally bond differently with different family members,” but turning those feelings into a public leaderboard, especially involving children who “don’t even exist yet,” felt deeply unsettling and “crazy.”

“Obviously I just want my daughter to feel loved and not compared or treated like she’ll be replaced the minute someone else has a girl,” she wrote.

For now, she says she keeps things civil on the surface.

“I always keep my reactions polite because I don’t want drama, but inside it really bothers me and I don’t want my daughter growing up hearing things like this,” she added.

Commenters on Reddit didn’t hold back. Many warned her that this kind of constant comparison could amount to “emotional abuse” for her daughter and encouraged her to limit contact if the behavior continues: “Please don’t expose your child to it,” one urged.

Others suggested responding with a bit of pointed humor. One person joked that they’d flip the script entirely: “I’d start talking about who my favorite in-laws are. ‘You’re nice, but FIL is so much more likable.’ ”