New Mom Furious After Husband Says He’s ‘Helping’ By Doing Standard Parenting Tasks

A new mom is venting her frustration after realizing her husband considers caring for their child as “helping” her rather than parenting together.

In a Reddit post, the mom writes, “Apparently my husband is ‘helping me’ raise our kids. And this whole time I thought we were equal partners. Joke’s on me.”

She explains that she’s handled almost every nighttime wake-up since their baby was born five months ago. “Long story short, I have done all but five wake-ups since my 5-month-old was born,” she says. “My husband and I both work — I work five days and he works three and a half.”

One recent night, she says, she was “exhausted” and finally asked him to take over.

“I went to my husband at 10 p.m. and said, ‘Hey, it would have been nice if you offered to take the baby tonight since you’re not working tomorrow and I am so tired I think I’m going to die. And also, you’re staying up with the baby tonight,’” she recalls. “He claims he was just on the way to ask me if I wanted him up with the baby anyway. (I would bet my life that wasn’t the case.) Whatever. There are two bottles in the fridge — have fun.”

But later that night, around 4 a.m., he woke her up “with a crying baby” because their daughter was hungry again. He had fed the baby around 1 a.m. but forgot there was a second bottle ready in the fridge.

“What about her second bottle?” she asked. “He forgot. If I had died in my sleep my final words would’ve been, ‘There are two bottles already made in the fridge.’ Not to mention he could’ve, IDK, used his legs to walk to the freezer and get more.”

Now, she says, he’s “mad that I’m mad” and insists he was “just trying to help.”

“Hell no. Help me? Help me?!???? I’m done,” she writes. “I’ll help his sorry self with whatever he explicitly lays out for me (and maybe conveniently forget a few things here or there). But I’m not holding his hand and single-handedly keeping this household going by myself anymore. Forget it.”

Other Reddit users quickly chimed in, sharing similar frustrations.

“Ugh, married single moms are everywhere,” one commenter wrote. “Sounds like you need to let him sink or swim. And he shouldn’t ask you if you want him to do it one night — he should just say he’s doing it and then actually do the whole thing. Instead of this whole dance, why don’t you just make a schedule? These are your nights, these are mine. Do not wake me up under any circumstances. Godspeed.”

Another added, “I used to have to remind my ex that he wasn’t bathing the kids or doing the dishes for me. Those are his kids too, and he also ate off those dishes. Doing things for me would be washing my car or filling up my tank. We are divorced. I don’t think he ever got it.”

---