NFL Star Charvarius Ward Says He Hasn’t ‘Been Happy,’ One Year Since the Death of His Daughter Amani at 23 Months

Indianapolis Colts cornerback Charvarius Ward is continuing to mourn the heartbreaking loss of his daughter, Amani Joy.

In a series of emotional Instagram Story posts, the 29-year-old athlete reflected on his grief while sharing photos of Amani on what would have been her third birthday. Over a picture of her sitting on the carpet, he wrote, “Happy heavenly birthday Amani 👼🏽 Haven’t been happy since you left us. God was wrong for this 💔.”

Ward went on to post more cherished memories, including an image from one of her past birthdays and a moment they shared outside a football stadium. His message grew heavier as he expressed how deeply the loss has affected him.

“F— football. F— this money. F— any type of fame. Don’t care for none of it. Lost without my baby,” he wrote. “Amani Joy Ward XOXOXO.”

Last October, Ward revealed that Amani — his daughter with girlfriend Monique Cook — had died. He shared the news alongside a photo of their little girl, writing that the family was “heartbroken” as they attempted to process the tragedy.

“We are heartbroken that our beautiful baby girl, Amani Joy passed away on Monday morning. She was the best blessing we could have asked for, and her joyous spirit made us smile from ear to ear,” he wrote at the time. “She taught us to have patience, trust, and a positive outlook on life… She will forever be daddy’s best friend and mommy’s little girl. We’ll miss you and love you forever, Amani Joy.”

In January, Ward opened up about how returning to California has become emotionally difficult, explaining that the trauma of losing Amani there brings painful memories to the surface.

“I had a lot of great times, but the worst thing that’s ever happened to me… happened in California,” he said. “Every time I get on a plane and come back… it just brings up bad memories.”

He added that his girlfriend struggles to be there as well, which has left him feeling isolated during the season. “She’s my strength right now. I need her,” he explained.

Ward has since shared that he still deals with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder in the aftermath of his daughter’s passing.

“I get PTSD a lot,” he admitted. “I be throwing up, waking up in the middle of the night all the time, sweating… It’s tough.”