Parent Says 8-Year-Old Son’s ‘Debilitating’ Fear of the Dark Is ‘Getting Worse,’ Adding They’re Unsure What to Do Next

A parent is looking for guidance on how to help their son cope with what they describe as a “debilitating” fear of the dark — and they say it’s been intensifying over time.

In a post on the parenting subreddit, the parent explained that their nearly 9-year-old won’t fall asleep unless a parent stays with him in his room. They added that he still wears pull-ups because he’s too scared to walk to the bathroom at night.

“If he does wake up in the night, he’ll sprint to our room and beg and cry to not go back to his own room,” the parent wrote.

The parent said they’ve already tried several approaches to ease his anxiety. They’ve read kid-friendly books about fear of the dark, increased lighting in his room, hallway, and bathroom while keeping it dim enough for sleep, and offered reassurance without reinforcing fears about monsters or other threats.

The post ended with the parent asking the Reddit community for additional next steps. In response, multiple commenters suggested professional support — particularly because the fear appears to be interfering with sleep and everyday routines.

One commenter recommended meeting with a child psychologist, while also offering a practical strategy: gradual, low-pressure exposure to dim environments.

“A child psychologist would be good,” the commenter wrote. “In the meantime it might help to understand more how anxiety works and how avoidance can make things worse. You could work with him and work out together some very baby steps to gradually expose him to darkness.”

They suggested starting small — like spending a few minutes in semi-darkness during the afternoon while doing something fun, such as telling jokes — and slowly building up tolerance over time. They also advised avoiding turning it into a nightly conflict, and instead involving the child in planning the steps.

Another commenter echoed the idea of seeking help, noting that when fear is this intense, it can go beyond typical childhood worries.

“That’s so hard! When fear is this intense and interfering with sleep and basic routines, it’s less about normal childhood worries and more about anxiety, even if there’s no clear trigger,” they wrote, adding that a child psychologist — or a pediatrician as a first step — could help the child learn coping tools and gradually build independence at night.