Pastor, 51, Comes Out as Transgender During Emotional Church Service: I’m ‘Truly Happy for the First Time in a Very Long Time’

A pastor in upstate New York has come out as transgender in front of her church community.

Rev. Phillipa Phaneuf made the announcement during a Sunday service on Nov. 23 at North Chili United Methodist Church in Rochester, N.Y. Addressing the congregation, the 51-year-old pastor explained that although she doesn’t usually talk about her personal life from the pulpit, some changes are too important to keep private.

Wearing a rainbow stole, Phaneuf told worshippers that she is transitioning and affirmed that she is transgender. She explained that, for her, the change isn’t about “becoming” someone new, but about no longer living as a man in order to meet expectations.

Phaneuf went on to outline what congregants might notice as her transition continues. Her voice may become slightly higher, and she plans to use she/her pronouns, though she emphasized that she doesn’t intend to police anyone’s language and does not believe anyone in the church would intentionally misgender her. She added that her full name and other details will also evolve over time, reminding the congregation that transition is a process, not a single moment.

She then shifted to what will stay the same. Phaneuf said she believes the church will be recognized even more as a safe and welcoming space for people who have felt marginalized. She stressed that this identity already exists, and that she would not have felt able to come forward in this way without first experiencing deep love and support from the community.

According to Phaneuf, leaders within the United Methodist Church — including her bishop and district superintendent — have backed her decision. She said they were the first people she approached, asking how she could share her news in a way that was pastoral, loving and allowed the church to continue in ministry together.

Speaking to The Advocate, Phaneuf said she feels surrounded by kindness and affirmation. The United Methodists of Upper New York also described this moment as an important step in her journey of living authentically and faithfully.

Not everyone in her life has responded with support. Phaneuf told the congregation that her parents had texted her earlier that day to say they did not support her transition and had chosen their beliefs over standing by their child. She acknowledged their decision and noted that each person must live according to their own convictions.

Phaneuf, who is several months into hormone replacement therapy, said that shortly after beginning the process she experienced a level of happiness she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

She closed by reflecting on what most people ultimately want for those they love: even when we don’t fully understand someone’s choices, we still hope they can find real joy and peace in their lives.