Pregnant Mom Co-Sleeps with Baby for Her ‘Own Health and Sanity.’ Now, Husband Blames Her for Being ‘Exhausted and Grumpy’

An expectant mother is reaching out for guidance on how to manage her mounting frustration with her husband amid sleep struggles.

In a post on the parenting subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that her son “has never been a good sleeper” since birth. By the time he turned 12 months old, she decided to start co-sleeping.

“Our son has never been a good sleeper, even since birth. By the time he turned one, I started co-sleeping just to preserve my own health and sanity, while my husband moved is in the other room,” the mom wrote, noting that her husband also snores, making it difficult for her to rest if he’s in the same room.

OP shared that she wakes up “exhausted and grumpy” each day and that her husband’s reaction often leaves her feeling unsupported.

“Whenever I mention how little sleep I’m getting, his response is usually to blame me for choosing to co-sleep,” she wrote. “Yet, when we’re with friends, he’ll frame it as something we did ‘for our sanity.'”

The mom added that this dynamic makes her feel like her struggles are being minimized.

“It feels like he downplays my struggles and justifies the fact that I’m the one dealing with sleepless nights while he gets uninterrupted rest in the next room,” she explained. “Does anyone else deal with this? My son also only wants me, which makes things harder, and I’m also 32 weeks pregnant. There’s so much resentment and built-up anger and I simply don’t feel like a team.”

The post prompted numerous responses from users who shared their experiences and offered advice on how to get her husband more involved.

“Tell your husband to take on nights with your toddler. Your toddler will get used to it. He’ll be upset at first, but it will pass,” one commenter wrote. “I was in a similar situation, and once my spouse and I switched, my baby started sleeping through the night in her crib (about 2 weeks after my spouse took over).”

“But my spouse had to be consistent with comforting her back to sleep and then putting her back in the crib instead of the bed,” they added. “It was a rough 2 weeks, but it worked.”

Another user acknowledged the difficulty of the situation and stressed the importance of finding a practical solution quickly.

“Your new baby will not sleep much, and your toddler will adjust to being a big sibling — that can go hand in hand with poor sleep, and there’s only one of you,” they wrote. “You need to set yourself up for success. I strongly suggest teaching your child to sleep independently or with minimal help.”

The commenter encouraged OP to develop a plan that works for her family.

“I have two boys close in age (19-month gap), and my husband and I had to divide ourselves tending to both kids at night for a couple of months,” she shared. “It was very hard, but we were in sync and agreed on what we were doing.”

“You need to sit down with your partner and think of a realistic plan for your family and start today,” she advised. “Your baby might arrive in 5–6 weeks, and you will be healing from birth, maybe breastfeeding, caring for a newborn, and more. I wish you the best luck.”