A pregnant woman is questioning whether she’d be in the wrong for asking her ex-boyfriend to help her get her home ready for her baby while her current boyfriend is at work.
In a post shared on the AITA subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her boyfriend, 25, have been together for nearly three years and have lived together for about a year and a half. Now 36 weeks pregnant, OP, 23, shared that her boyfriend had been eager to have children, even though she wasn’t quite ready at the time. “I had to become ready very fast when I found out about the pregnancy,” she wrote.
“My pregnancy has been so miserable and tiring,” OP added. “I’m beyond ready to have our daughter.”
She explained that her boyfriend works full-time, while she recently stopped working due to the pregnancy. Although the couple has been able to prepare some things for their baby on the weekends, there’s still a lot left to do — and her due date is just a week away.
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“My boyfriend has been refusing to help me with anything around the house, but it’s extremely difficult for me to do anything at this point,” OP wrote. “My ex-boyfriend and I are great friends and he has been very helpful during my pregnancy. My boyfriend doesn’t mind that I’m still friends with him, but he’s uncomfortable with him coming over to our house.”
With her mom living in another state and her friends far away, OP said she’s running out of options for support. She asked the subreddit if she would be wrong to invite her ex over to help with last-minute preparations for the baby.
Many commenters urged OP to reconsider her current relationship, noting that her boyfriend’s unwillingness to help now could signal bigger issues down the road.
One person wrote, “I’d tell him he can either help you himself, or your ex will. And if he still doesn’t step up, I’d dump him. He wanted this baby — he needs to grow up and take responsibility.”
Another user agreed, adding, “When you’re a parent, you have responsibilities no matter how tired you are. If he isn’t stepping up now, he’ll probably be an even bigger burden once your daughter is here.”
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Others encouraged OP to focus on getting the help she needs, emphasizing that this is the time when her support system should come together.
“Get the help you need for you and your baby,” one commenter advised. “Peripartum is when you need your village. Your boyfriend’s feelings don’t matter here — what matters is creating a safe, healthy space for you and your baby.”
They went on to suggest that OP reach out to other resources like support groups, hospital programs, or a doula. “You’ll need even more help after delivery, and your boyfriend is already acting like another child. Figure out now who you can rely on when the baby arrives.”
