She Chose to Give Birth Abroad to Avoid Medical Debt. Now Her Family Is Calling Her ‘Unpatriotic’

A 29-year-old expectant mother turned to Reddit for advice after her family criticized her decision to give birth outside her birth country. Married to a 32-year-old man, she’s expecting her first child in February and says her choice is influenced by both financial and cultural factors.

“I might be the AH to choose to give birth in this country just to save money,” she admitted, explaining that she decided to deliver her baby where she currently lives. Though she holds citizenship there, she hasn’t lived in her birth country since she was nine years old.

Her main concern is cost. “The reason is due to the ridiculous cost to give birth in that country [North America], especially for those who have no insurance or ended up having a doctor out-of-network,” she wrote. She added that healthcare there feels “like a business, not an essential service.”

Residency rules are another factor. The woman noted that she can’t pass on her birth country’s citizenship to her child unless she lives there for at least five years — two of which must be after age 14. “I could only pass down my non-North American citizenship to my child,” she said, explaining that she could later help them apply for permanent residence if they chose to move.

Her husband, however, automatically passes his North American citizenship to their children because he was born there. “My partner, a citizen of a different North American country, is able to pass down his citizenship to our kids just because he was born there,” she wrote.

Still, her extended family hasn’t been supportive. “Some of my North American parents’ extended family members have criticized me for denying my child the right to citizenship of my birth country by deciding not to give birth in that country,” she shared. She believes the criticism stems from deeper biases — both cultural and racial.

“They even hate my other parent and the other side of my family because they are not white, not citizens/nationals of my birth country, and have a ‘funny’ accent when speaking English — and some don’t speak English at all,” she said.

The woman added that some relatives outside her current country “think my spouse’s family should be speaking English,” reflecting ongoing cultural tension.

Commenters on Reddit largely supported her decision. One wrote, “If it makes sense financially to give birth in one country over the next, then do it. Unless those family members are willing to subsidize the birth costs since you have no health insurance.”

Another agreed, emphasizing personal freedom: “Give birth where you want. Naturalized citizenship is fine.”

For the poster, the choice comes down to practicality and peace of mind — a decision made not out of defiance, but necessity.