A woman turned to Reddit for advice after a family fight left her feeling both guilty and frustrated. The problem started when she refused to become the “family driver” after finally buying her own car.
“I saved for almost three years while working full-time and taking night classes,” the 24-year-old wrote. Her car might be an old Toyota, but to her, it represents independence, hard work, and sacrifice.
Soon after buying it, her family began acting like the car—and her—were for everyone’s use.
“My family, mostly my mom and older sister, expect me to drive them everywhere—groceries, pharmacy, appointments, airport pickups, random errands,” she said.
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Often, they don’t even ask—they just assume. “I get texts like, ‘You can take me at 3, right?’ without checking if I’m free,” she explained.
Her mother and older sister don’t drive for different reasons. Her sister doesn’t work or drive, and her mom can’t drive due to medical issues. For the past decade, the family used public transportation, taxis, or friends. Now, she feels like their personal chauffeur.
Even though she has tried to set boundaries, they are often ignored. “I’ve told them I’m happy to help when I can, but I can’t always be available since I work full-time and am finishing my degree,” she said.
Her refusal is often met with guilt and criticism. “My sister complains I’m selfish, and my mom says, ‘We’ve always helped you when you needed it,’” she shared.
The problem came to a head when she said no to driving her sister to a job interview because she had an exam. Her sister missed the interview and blamed her for it. Even their aunt called, saying she should “sacrifice a little” because “family helps family.”
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Feeling torn, she said, “I bought this car to be independent, not to become the default driver for two adults who chose not to drive.”
A Reddit commenter advised her to move out, saying, “You’re NTA, but this was going to happen once you got a car. Everyone was relying on other ways to get around for years.”
The woman agreed and even asked her sister how she planned to handle things. Her sister just shrugged and said, “We’ll figure it out.”
She feels that helping has turned into an expectation. “They got so used to me always saying yes that they stopped seeing it as a favor and started seeing it as my job,” she explained.
