Single Mom on a ‘Low Income’ Is Mad Her ‘Close Friend’ Asked Her to Buy a Pricey Bridesmaid’s Dress for Destination Wedding

A woman has opened up about her struggle to afford the costs of being a bridesmaid for her close friend’s wedding in Thailand, saying the dress alone is far beyond her budget.

She shared her situation on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K. community site Mumsnet, explaining that while she was honored to be asked, the expenses quickly became overwhelming.

“At first I was going to decline, as I couldn’t afford to travel that far out for the wedding for seven days (single mom on a low income), but [I] got a small bonus from work and used it to pay part of the flights/trip and took out a credit card to pay the rest,” she wrote.

The woman noted that the bride was covering the accommodations, which made it slightly easier to commit. But once she learned that the bridesmaid dresses her friend chose cost about $335 — and that the bridesmaids were expected to pay for them — she was shocked.

She said she asked the bride if she could find a more affordable alternative, and her friend agreed. Still, the woman admitted she’s worried she won’t find something that matches the high-quality, embellished gown the others will wear.

“The dress my friend has picked is very high quality and has lots of embellishments in a certain beautiful shade, and I’m worried I won’t be able to afford a dress that can match and look nearly as nice as the other bridesmaids, and I will stick out like a sore thumb,” she wrote.

“I will have to suck it up and just buy something cheap, but I do feel a bit miffed and I’m struggling to find anything so far,” she added.

The poster asked Mumsnet readers if she was justified in feeling upset, or if she was overreacting.

Most commenters said they didn’t think either woman was in the wrong but encouraged her to be honest with the bride about her financial limits.

“Some people pay for it out of the wedding fund, sometimes bridesmaids pay. She’s said you can buy your own cheaper [dress], which is an option, or you could say you can’t afford it but would love to come as a guest,” one user advised.

Another added, “Go as a guest, decline the bridesmaid role.”

A third commenter wrote, “I’d be absolutely mortified and embarrassed that my good friend was upset over a dress. Not at you! At myself! I’d be happy if you came at all and wouldn’t give it a s— if that meant you wore a $20 [dress]. I’d just want you there. I’m sure she’d rather know how you feel than [have] you struggle for money or put yourself into debt.”