Sorority Moms Break Down What It Took to Support Their Daughters During Rush, from $600 Daily Gifts to 16-Hour Drives

As they drove home to Maryland after a long, exhausting move-in day at the University of Mississippi, Amy Sergeant and her husband tried to navigate the details of their daughter’s upcoming week. Their eldest, Abigail, was now settled into her fully equipped freshman dorm, with a packed schedule ahead.

While the Sergeants could help Abigail feel at home, there was one part of college life they knew little about: southern sorority recruitment.

“We don’t really know how it works. There’s eleven [sororities], you get to pick eight, but if all eight don’t pick you, can you add three back? Can you not add three back? What’s the process?” Amy wondered aloud to PEOPLE one day after dropping Abigail off at Ole Miss. “My husband and I, we’re trying not to frustrate her.”

Southern Sorority Moms

It’s not that Amy was completely unfamiliar with Greek life. Sorority recruitment has gained global attention over the past few years thanks to TikTok, where University of Alabama hopefuls have documented their experiences, fueling the viral “Bama Rush” phenomenon.

#RushTok is full of videos showing young women across the country—many from Southeastern Conference (SEC) schools like Ole Miss—dressing up for each stage of recruitment.

As a flight attendant with FAA restrictions, Amy hasn’t been able to use TikTok, so her understanding of Bama Rush mostly came from what Abigail shared over the summer. Otherwise, her knowledge of Greek life is largely shaped by attending a “northern school.”

“We had the slutty sorority, the nerdy sorority, you know what I mean? Everybody had their thing,” Amy recalls. “But at Ole Miss, there’s the top four. And in Abigail’s mind, those are the top four cool girl houses.”

Unlike her mom, Abigail was well-versed in #RushTok. She and her friends had been watching sorority TikToks since high school during COVID, when they were stuck indoors and dreaming of a more independent world.

“They were watching all this stuff on social media and they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, this looks so fun. They’re all hanging out. We’re trapped here,'” Amy says.

Because much of Abigail’s knowledge came from TikTok and Instagram, Amy noticed her daughter started to carefully curate her social media presence.

“Abigail and her girlfriends went to a Kesha concert. They did not post one picture. Even though they were appropriately dressed, they had on glitter Kesha shirts and short-shorts,” Amy recalls. “They were like, ‘Nobody post on social media … We don’t want somebody from a sorority to see us in tacky outfits and think that this is how we dress.'”

Amy wasn’t sure how to feel about this self-censoring, but her husband offered a more practical view.

“My husband thinks it’s a good thing, because he’s like, ‘Jobs now are going to pull up your social media and look at it.’ He’s like, ‘So, it’s a great leeway into life,'” Amy says, noting that Abigail planned to share the Kesha concert photos after rush.

Even when parts of the process seemed overwhelming, Amy remained supportive. But she quickly realized that SEC sorority moms play a more hands-on role than she expected.

Lifetime’s unscripted series A Sorority Mom’s Guide to Rush! follows mother-daughter duos navigating the high-stakes world of sorority recruitment. With guidance from rush coaches Bill Alverson and Brandis Bradley, the moms encourage their daughters to present their best selves to sororities.

Many parents are more involved than their daughters, especially when families have a legacy connection to a house. But times have changed since Jane Clair Shettles rushed at Ole Miss. Her eldest, Sally Grace, joined Alpha Chi Omega at the University of Alabama in 2020. When her younger daughter Mamie rushed at Mississippi State University, Jane Clair noticed a more relaxed process.

“Sally Grace’s Bama Rush felt intense,” she says. “The dress days and requirements felt more rigid.” With Mamie, things seemed easier from the start.

“We went in very nervous—still the same heightened anxiety—but it felt a little more relaxed,” Jane Clair says.

Still, preparation remained key. Mamie had recommendations, resumes, thank-you notes, and even had to make an introductory video. Jane Clair also helped her plan outfits for each day, coordinating shorts, skorts, and T-shirts—a new, more casual experience for the family.

Living close to Mamie’s campus allowed Jane Clair to stay more involved. The 18-year-old updated her mom throughout rush.

“She just sent me a little video, and we’ve probably talked three times this morning,” Jane Clair shares. “She seemed anxious but excited, too.”

Jane Clair also prepared a “rush bag” for Mamie, complete with daily notes, snacks, and small items to keep spirits high.

“I’ve also told her if she doesn’t want to talk to me, I totally understand,” Jane Clair says. “But if she wants to talk about the process, it’s probably best to open up to family.”

For Abigail, the experience was different. Without family ties or a legacy at Ole Miss, she was an outsider in many ways.

“She’s not a legacy. She knows no one there. There’s not one person from her school,” Amy says. Abigail’s roommate Isabelle, from upstate New York, and the other freshmen neighbors, from Houston and Dallas, have sorority roots.

Amy and Isabelle’s mom Becky, who has no Greek life experience, collaborated with Amy to support their daughters.

“We’re like, ‘Can we do this? Do we not do this? Oh my gosh, what if they don’t get there?'” Amy says. “We’re like the blind leading the blind, but we’re figuring it out together.”

They coordinated daily gifts and notes for their daughters. On “Greek Day,” Abigail and Isabelle opened Kendra Scott bracelets with Greek eye charms. Break days included face masks, foot masks, a $50 GrubHub gift card, and even Crumbl cookies.

When Bid Day arrived, both moms were present. Mamie received a bid for Delta Gamma at Mississippi State, while Abigail joined Alpha Delta Pi at Ole Miss. Amy described Bid Day as a “zoo,” but ultimately “so fun.”

Despite the stress of being an out-of-state parent, Amy was thrilled to see her daughter find a community and a sense of home, starting from square one with no prior connections.