Stay-at-Home Mom Says She Has No Time for Long Calls with Childless Friends — Wonders If She Should Ask Them to Stop Calling

A woman says she’s struggling to balance motherhood and friendship — particularly with child-free friends who still expect long phone calls even though she barely has time to sit down.

She shared her dilemma in the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on Mumsnet.com, a U.K.-based site where women often turn for advice about everyday conflicts. In her post, the woman explained that she’s now a stay-at-home mom with a toddler and a few friends “who don’t have kids” and “love a good long chat.”

Her friends, she said, don’t usually call about anything serious — “Just general stuff — the date they went on last night, why their manager ‘just doesn’t get it,’ or how their hairdresser messed up their bangs again.”

But lately, she’s finding it nearly impossible to keep up.

“I just can’t do long phone chats anymore,” she wrote. “I’m fine with a quick five-minute catch-up, but it’s never five minutes. I’ll answer thinking it’ll be short, and next thing I’m 15 minutes in, saying, ‘Yeah … anyway…,’ while my toddler’s trying to run off, or tugging at me for a walk, or yelling because lunch isn’t ready.”

She said she often tries to “drop hints” that she needs to go, but her friends don’t seem to take the cue.

“It’s not that I don’t care,” she added. “If something real is going on, of course I’ll make time. But these endless, rambling calls when I’m in the middle of toddler chaos … not my thing anymore. My days are pretty full, and if I do get a bit of quiet time, I’d rather actually eat something warm, do life admin or catch up properly with someone in person.”

The mom ended her post with a question: “Am I being unreasonable to just say outright that I don’t do long phone calls these days?”

Responses were mixed. Some commenters encouraged her to make the effort to stay connected with her friends — even if it means multitasking.

“Just put them on loudspeaker or headphones while you do the cleaning or make lunch,” one person suggested. “You’ll miss them when they’re gone.”

Others sympathized and offered practical advice.

“Stop answering when you’re busy and ring them back if you don’t want to say anything about it directly to them,” one commenter advised. “They’ll learn eventually.”

Another wrote, “Just be honest. Being vague clearly isn’t working. Say, ‘I’m in the middle of getting lunch sorted — I’ll voice note you later.’”